Every Life deserves the Effort

Monday, November 25, 2013....cold cold..I love it!  Winter has arrived just in time for Thanksgiving

Yesterday as I was walking through the hallway where my Lady lives, I passed a man that I see often.  He is in her Unit and in a wheelchair.  Normally when I walk past him and say hello, he does not respond to me at all.  He just stares at me.  So last night I stopped and said hello and asked if he'd like to try my Harp.  I played a few strings and he just came to life.  He told me he couldn't play because he does "this".  He showed me with his hands that he plays the piano.  So I talked to him about playing piano and he said his hands were broken and he had to stretch them because he couldn't make those black and white things move anymore.

As we are talking, his Daughter comes around the corner and introduces herself.  I told her we were talking about the Piano and she said he was a incredible musician.  He had played for small orchestras in the various places they had lived and she grew up with beautiful piano music her whole life.  She said, music was his life and he has been robbed of the joy.

I asked this man if he ever went to the piano in the dining room and he said he couldn't do that...he needed paper...oh I said, you need notes to read?  I just happened to have brought my music of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata movement to play for my Lady so I took it out of my purse and showed him the cover.

What happened next was chilling....it was like he had a bar of gold in his hands.  He took the music and just stared at it, trying to read the title of the composition.  Then he looked at me and said, I know this name.  I opened up the sheet music to the notation and he let out a little gasp.....he just looked and looked at the notes and ran his finger over the page....yes these are the notes he said.  I know these.

A piece of music....part of him, part of me, part of his Daughter.  We are now connected, once strangers but forever connected by music.  Such a small thing with such a huge impact.  What a moment,  joyful and yet heartbreaking.

After his Daughter left to take him to his room I asked the Nurse if he knew this man was an accomplished musician to which he said no, he had no idea.  Not surprising...staff is busy and very disconnected to anything personal with patients.  The facilities are too large with turnovers in staff happening almost on a weekly basis.

Please, Please....if you have a loved one or know a loved one in Rehab, Long-term Nursing, Alzheimer's or Dementia Unit....talk about them often to their caregivers.  Tell them about the important things they did, from their jobs to their hobbies, but especially what inspired them in their life.  It's the Aids, Kitchen Staff bringing meals, cleaning staff that are in their rooms everyday and the Activities Staff that interact with them and need to be reminded that they are still "in there".  It takes some effort and experimenting to find a way to reach them, but I have found that Music is universal and far reaching.

Every life deserves the effort