The Most Valuable Lesson

Wednesday Morning, January 22, 2014.....About 7" of Snow this morning.....7o and windy....a good day to stay home!

I felt it was important for me to put this in writing and come back to it from time to time.  I know that I am a strong person and I am able to set aside my personal feelings while doing my work as a Therapeutic Musician.  When I am sitting at bedside with a Patient, I am very aware of their pain, saddness and anxiety, but I am also equally aware of how much better Therapeutic Music makes them feel.  Normally I will come home and decompress with my own form of Therapeutic Music....usually some good ole Rock N' Roll on Vinyl.  I will warm up a Jukebox and start the healing process.  However, this past Monday I don't think I gave myself enough TLC.

I came home from a long day at the Facility.  I had gone in 1 1/2 hrs early.  I played for a Hospice Patient for 1 hr and 15 min.  She was very close to death and her entire family was in the room, including a Social Worker.  At one point, I got up to leave and the Social Worker asked if I could stay a bit longer, as not only did she feel it was comforting to the Family, but comforting to her.  I stayed as long as I could, playing non-rhythmic Improv.  Every now and then I would throw in something familiar in a minor key, but play it non-rhythmic allowing openings in the music to match her breathing so she could leave this world peacefully.  This Session was so appreciated by the entire family, as they explained that the Patient was a Musician herself and Music was her Soul.

After I finished with the Hospice Patient I moved on to my Companion for the Afternoon and had a joyous experience with the Residents in the Day Room.  I played my Harp for them, then moved to the Piano in the Dining Room and played for my Companion.  I love playing there because the Residents wander in and will sit and listen, it breaks up their day and gives them some joy.  All in all, a good day.

I came home, started Dinner, answered mail and listened to some music....and then it hit me.  It was like I had not slept in a week.  I really don't remember when I have been so overcome with exhaustion.  When Tad came home I couldn't even sit and eat dinner or talk to him....I apologized and went upstairs to bed.  This is SO unlike me.  I am like the Energizer Bunny.....go go till I drop.  I slept straight through until 7:30 in the morning.

When I came downstairs I apologized again for just crashing and I had been thinking the same thing Tad had been thinking.....he said, "I am a little worried about your job, and the effect it's having on you."  Wow, could that be true?  Could I have been so stressed that day that it caused me to just collapse?  I think the answer is YES.  Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to trauma.  Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to the physical challenges of playing the Harp for FAR too long at one time.  Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to Death, Sickness, Saddness, Hopelessness but also to Joy, Peace and Hope......

I have learned that I need to take better care of not only my Body but my Spirit as well.  I need to realize and set physical limits to my Harp Sessions.  If I choose to play for a long period of time, I need to take frequent breaks and stretch, drink water and regroup.  I need to practice letting go of the saddness and trauma.  I need to find new ways to rejoice in the joy and hope that Therapeutic Music offers.

As I come to the end of my Certification as a Clinical Musician, I apparently saved the most valuable lesson for last!!!!