Wednesday Morning, January 29, 2014.....2 new inches of Snow!!!! I am off today so I can Celebrate
There are so many emotions that Therapeutic Music contributes to my day. I experience all the profound benefits of my Harp in many of the ways the Patient does. I am able to release my stress while working in most settings, however there are Patients that completely drain you. Those are the days you want to just crumple in a heap when you get home. But.........the best emotion I get to experience is Humor and Laughter!
Yesterday I was with my Companion and I played my Harp in the Day Room for her and 3 other Patients. The conversation that went on between 2 of them left me weak from laughing. I am completely drawn into the conversation by one of the Patients when she asks me to teach her to play the Piano. I asked some questions, like "have you always wanted to play?" "Do you read music?" ....this leads to the other Patient saying, "now you know you can't do PIE-ANO"...."you can't see, you can't move them hands and your brain ain't right".........ok so now I am totally dying.
I decided to take my Companion to the Dining Room to listen to the Yoga Class. When it was over I thought it would be nice to play my Harp there, which I never do. A few of the Yoga Students stayed to listen and a couple of the table had visitors and loved ones. There is always a "trouble maker" that roams the halls in every Facility I have been in. The one at this Facility is a real winner. She is in a Wheelchair but gets around A-OK. She likes to visit ALL the rooms in ALL the Units. She likes to help herself to stuffed animals and baby dolls from the rooms of others. oh, I forgot to mention, she is MEAN. The Staff does a great job of keeping an eye on her, but she manages to wreak havoc never the less.
Back to Harping in the Dining Room....I am playing and my Companion has this look of complete peace on her face and I hear, "TURN THAT DAMN ORGAN OFF". Yep, it's the Baby Doll Thief. I keep playing and she says, "CAN'T YOU SEE EVERYONE IS SLEEPING, I WANT PIANO". Now she has everyone's attention and I keep playing, trying so hard not to loose it. "THERE MUST BE A PLUG, TURN THE DAMN THING OFF." the end....the man at the card table lets out this belly-gut laugh which makes me loose control. Now I am trying to play through the tears and she rolls right up next to me and says, "LOOK YOU, EVEN SHE'S ASLEEP, UNPLUG THE DAMN ORGAN" After several deep breaths, I told her that I would play Piano for her when I was finished with the Harp.....which I did, but she was no where to be found.
Did I mention I LOVE my job?
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
The Most Valuable Lesson
Wednesday Morning, January 22, 2014.....About 7" of Snow this morning.....7o and windy....a good day to stay home!
I felt it was important for me to put this in writing and come back to it from time to time. I know that I am a strong person and I am able to set aside my personal feelings while doing my work as a Therapeutic Musician. When I am sitting at bedside with a Patient, I am very aware of their pain, saddness and anxiety, but I am also equally aware of how much better Therapeutic Music makes them feel. Normally I will come home and decompress with my own form of Therapeutic Music....usually some good ole Rock N' Roll on Vinyl. I will warm up a Jukebox and start the healing process. However, this past Monday I don't think I gave myself enough TLC.
I came home from a long day at the Facility. I had gone in 1 1/2 hrs early. I played for a Hospice Patient for 1 hr and 15 min. She was very close to death and her entire family was in the room, including a Social Worker. At one point, I got up to leave and the Social Worker asked if I could stay a bit longer, as not only did she feel it was comforting to the Family, but comforting to her. I stayed as long as I could, playing non-rhythmic Improv. Every now and then I would throw in something familiar in a minor key, but play it non-rhythmic allowing openings in the music to match her breathing so she could leave this world peacefully. This Session was so appreciated by the entire family, as they explained that the Patient was a Musician herself and Music was her Soul.
After I finished with the Hospice Patient I moved on to my Companion for the Afternoon and had a joyous experience with the Residents in the Day Room. I played my Harp for them, then moved to the Piano in the Dining Room and played for my Companion. I love playing there because the Residents wander in and will sit and listen, it breaks up their day and gives them some joy. All in all, a good day.
I came home, started Dinner, answered mail and listened to some music....and then it hit me. It was like I had not slept in a week. I really don't remember when I have been so overcome with exhaustion. When Tad came home I couldn't even sit and eat dinner or talk to him....I apologized and went upstairs to bed. This is SO unlike me. I am like the Energizer Bunny.....go go till I drop. I slept straight through until 7:30 in the morning.
When I came downstairs I apologized again for just crashing and I had been thinking the same thing Tad had been thinking.....he said, "I am a little worried about your job, and the effect it's having on you." Wow, could that be true? Could I have been so stressed that day that it caused me to just collapse? I think the answer is YES. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to trauma. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to the physical challenges of playing the Harp for FAR too long at one time. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to Death, Sickness, Saddness, Hopelessness but also to Joy, Peace and Hope......
I have learned that I need to take better care of not only my Body but my Spirit as well. I need to realize and set physical limits to my Harp Sessions. If I choose to play for a long period of time, I need to take frequent breaks and stretch, drink water and regroup. I need to practice letting go of the saddness and trauma. I need to find new ways to rejoice in the joy and hope that Therapeutic Music offers.
As I come to the end of my Certification as a Clinical Musician, I apparently saved the most valuable lesson for last!!!!
I felt it was important for me to put this in writing and come back to it from time to time. I know that I am a strong person and I am able to set aside my personal feelings while doing my work as a Therapeutic Musician. When I am sitting at bedside with a Patient, I am very aware of their pain, saddness and anxiety, but I am also equally aware of how much better Therapeutic Music makes them feel. Normally I will come home and decompress with my own form of Therapeutic Music....usually some good ole Rock N' Roll on Vinyl. I will warm up a Jukebox and start the healing process. However, this past Monday I don't think I gave myself enough TLC.
I came home from a long day at the Facility. I had gone in 1 1/2 hrs early. I played for a Hospice Patient for 1 hr and 15 min. She was very close to death and her entire family was in the room, including a Social Worker. At one point, I got up to leave and the Social Worker asked if I could stay a bit longer, as not only did she feel it was comforting to the Family, but comforting to her. I stayed as long as I could, playing non-rhythmic Improv. Every now and then I would throw in something familiar in a minor key, but play it non-rhythmic allowing openings in the music to match her breathing so she could leave this world peacefully. This Session was so appreciated by the entire family, as they explained that the Patient was a Musician herself and Music was her Soul.
After I finished with the Hospice Patient I moved on to my Companion for the Afternoon and had a joyous experience with the Residents in the Day Room. I played my Harp for them, then moved to the Piano in the Dining Room and played for my Companion. I love playing there because the Residents wander in and will sit and listen, it breaks up their day and gives them some joy. All in all, a good day.
I came home, started Dinner, answered mail and listened to some music....and then it hit me. It was like I had not slept in a week. I really don't remember when I have been so overcome with exhaustion. When Tad came home I couldn't even sit and eat dinner or talk to him....I apologized and went upstairs to bed. This is SO unlike me. I am like the Energizer Bunny.....go go till I drop. I slept straight through until 7:30 in the morning.
When I came downstairs I apologized again for just crashing and I had been thinking the same thing Tad had been thinking.....he said, "I am a little worried about your job, and the effect it's having on you." Wow, could that be true? Could I have been so stressed that day that it caused me to just collapse? I think the answer is YES. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to trauma. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to the physical challenges of playing the Harp for FAR too long at one time. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to Death, Sickness, Saddness, Hopelessness but also to Joy, Peace and Hope......
I have learned that I need to take better care of not only my Body but my Spirit as well. I need to realize and set physical limits to my Harp Sessions. If I choose to play for a long period of time, I need to take frequent breaks and stretch, drink water and regroup. I need to practice letting go of the saddness and trauma. I need to find new ways to rejoice in the joy and hope that Therapeutic Music offers.
As I come to the end of my Certification as a Clinical Musician, I apparently saved the most valuable lesson for last!!!!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Goodness over Disrespect
Friday Morning, January 17, 2014......a bright sunny, COLD day! I am so excited to be spending the entire weekend with "most" of my children and grandchildren!
The purpose of posting on my Blog is to remind me of my highs and lows in my Journey as a Therapeutic Harpist. It's so easy for my Facilities, Days, Patients and situations to run together over time. I think every patient and every situation has value and that all patients should be remembered long after they are gone. I have helped them with my Service of Therapeutic Music and in return they have helped me be a better, more compassionate human being. I also know that life is not always perfect or fair and I experienced this yesterday while playing for a dying patient.
This was to be the second and last time I played for this beautiful lady and her family. I stopped in on this Patient on Sunday while at the Facility with my Companion. I will call her "Tony". She was at end stage cancer and very much in pain. When I entered the room, one of the family members said, "Oh my God, I just said out loud, why is there no Music?"..."she is a Musician". I was so grateful to have the honor of playing for her. She loved it, not having much strength to respond or communicate, she just smiled a few times and closed her eyes.
Yesterday, 4 days later, as I was parking my car her Husband was in the parking lot leaving to pick up a family member at the airport and said to me, "can you go see her now? it might not be long and I am hurrying and she may be waiting for this loved one to get there". It broke my heart to see a man in such an emotional panic...do I leave my wife? will I get back in time?...Death has no clock.
So of course I am immediately tuned up and off to the room where I found their Daughter, in her late teens, sitting with her Mom, holding her hand and crying. As soon as I entered and saw the patient's breathing I knew it was only a matter of a few hours, if that. I was also aware of the roommate's TV BLARING and behind the curtain were loud voices laughing and talking. Ok, when I start playing for this Dying Woman, surely they will quiet down. NOT NOT NOT
I set up as close to "Tony's" head as possible and began to play softly...then louder because I could hardly hear my Harp over these women. Let me mention that the roommate is Ambulatory and CAN leave the room...my dying patient can not.
After a few minutes the Daughter is so upset over the noise she gets up and shuts the door to block the hallway noise but it did nothing to discourage these folks on the other side of the curtain. So, when the Nurses came in to turn my patient, they put pulled the curtain over me and I was then sitting with the roommate and her visitors....so as an advocate for my patient, I explained to them that my patient was dying and I was giving her and her family some peaceful music. The 3 of them just looked at me, one rolled her eyes and one said, "what do you want us to do?" So I asked that they speak softly and turn down the TV so the patient can hear the music. Reasonable, I thought.......nope, as soon as the curtain was pulled they started again.
As if it wasn't loud enough, a 4th person and then a 5th person came in to the room and now they are having a party, celebrating a birthday. As the noise level grew, the Daughter became more distraught so I suggested she go get a Nurse and ask them to quiet down or to leave and celebrate in another area...Dining Room, Day Room, Computer Room, Lobby????? The Nurse did just that and they said they would be a bit quieter but planned on continuing their Celebration.
I was there for 1 Hour...if anything, the noise level increased. I have never in my life seen such lack of compassion and respect. I think what bothered me more was the spitefulness. I did send the Activities Director an email last night, asking what policies the Facility has in place for this situation. She is wonderful and I know she will reply ASAP.
Now for the good news....when I entered the room I chatted for a minute with the Daughter, getting some background on the Patient's immediate condition. I asked if she was responding in any way and the Daughter told me when she is answering, she moves one side of her lip. So I spoke to "Tony" and told her I was going to play the Harp for her and her lip moved...she heard me and was thankful. As I played unfamiliar and non-rhythmic improve for her the Daughter asked if there was anything familiar that her Mom might know. Playing for the Dying is not just for the Dying....but for the family and staff around that person. As a Therapeutic Musician, our job is to provide music that is peaceful, restful and in the music, giving breaks in sound so the patient can pass. When you play familiar music, one tends to hang on to this world and no one wants to prolong their suffering. With that said, it is not just about the Patient so the first tune I play is "You Are my Sunshine". Halfway through the Daughter stands up and grabs a tissue and wipes one tear from her Mother's Eye. "Tony" sang this tune to her Children. As I finished up the Tune the Daughter asked that I play it a couple more times. Again, it's about the Family as well as the Patient.
I left the Daughter with a hug and the hopes that "Tony" would have a peaceful passing. I so wanted to stay with her for the day but I had a long list of patients to see that day, all deserving of Therapeutic Music. I went to "Tony's" bedside and told her I was leaving and I wanted her to listen to all the Harp Music that was in her head. I spoke the line from the song, "you make me happy, when skies are grey". She moved her lip.
UPDATE:
This morning I received an email from the Activities Director of the Facility who was outraged over this. Immediate action was taken and the Patient and her Family were moved to a Private Room to have a peaceful environment with what little time the Patient has left. I am so grateful for the swift and compassionate response from this Facility and especially the Activities Director.
The purpose of posting on my Blog is to remind me of my highs and lows in my Journey as a Therapeutic Harpist. It's so easy for my Facilities, Days, Patients and situations to run together over time. I think every patient and every situation has value and that all patients should be remembered long after they are gone. I have helped them with my Service of Therapeutic Music and in return they have helped me be a better, more compassionate human being. I also know that life is not always perfect or fair and I experienced this yesterday while playing for a dying patient.
This was to be the second and last time I played for this beautiful lady and her family. I stopped in on this Patient on Sunday while at the Facility with my Companion. I will call her "Tony". She was at end stage cancer and very much in pain. When I entered the room, one of the family members said, "Oh my God, I just said out loud, why is there no Music?"..."she is a Musician". I was so grateful to have the honor of playing for her. She loved it, not having much strength to respond or communicate, she just smiled a few times and closed her eyes.
Yesterday, 4 days later, as I was parking my car her Husband was in the parking lot leaving to pick up a family member at the airport and said to me, "can you go see her now? it might not be long and I am hurrying and she may be waiting for this loved one to get there". It broke my heart to see a man in such an emotional panic...do I leave my wife? will I get back in time?...Death has no clock.
So of course I am immediately tuned up and off to the room where I found their Daughter, in her late teens, sitting with her Mom, holding her hand and crying. As soon as I entered and saw the patient's breathing I knew it was only a matter of a few hours, if that. I was also aware of the roommate's TV BLARING and behind the curtain were loud voices laughing and talking. Ok, when I start playing for this Dying Woman, surely they will quiet down. NOT NOT NOT
I set up as close to "Tony's" head as possible and began to play softly...then louder because I could hardly hear my Harp over these women. Let me mention that the roommate is Ambulatory and CAN leave the room...my dying patient can not.
After a few minutes the Daughter is so upset over the noise she gets up and shuts the door to block the hallway noise but it did nothing to discourage these folks on the other side of the curtain. So, when the Nurses came in to turn my patient, they put pulled the curtain over me and I was then sitting with the roommate and her visitors....so as an advocate for my patient, I explained to them that my patient was dying and I was giving her and her family some peaceful music. The 3 of them just looked at me, one rolled her eyes and one said, "what do you want us to do?" So I asked that they speak softly and turn down the TV so the patient can hear the music. Reasonable, I thought.......nope, as soon as the curtain was pulled they started again.
As if it wasn't loud enough, a 4th person and then a 5th person came in to the room and now they are having a party, celebrating a birthday. As the noise level grew, the Daughter became more distraught so I suggested she go get a Nurse and ask them to quiet down or to leave and celebrate in another area...Dining Room, Day Room, Computer Room, Lobby????? The Nurse did just that and they said they would be a bit quieter but planned on continuing their Celebration.
I was there for 1 Hour...if anything, the noise level increased. I have never in my life seen such lack of compassion and respect. I think what bothered me more was the spitefulness. I did send the Activities Director an email last night, asking what policies the Facility has in place for this situation. She is wonderful and I know she will reply ASAP.
Now for the good news....when I entered the room I chatted for a minute with the Daughter, getting some background on the Patient's immediate condition. I asked if she was responding in any way and the Daughter told me when she is answering, she moves one side of her lip. So I spoke to "Tony" and told her I was going to play the Harp for her and her lip moved...she heard me and was thankful. As I played unfamiliar and non-rhythmic improve for her the Daughter asked if there was anything familiar that her Mom might know. Playing for the Dying is not just for the Dying....but for the family and staff around that person. As a Therapeutic Musician, our job is to provide music that is peaceful, restful and in the music, giving breaks in sound so the patient can pass. When you play familiar music, one tends to hang on to this world and no one wants to prolong their suffering. With that said, it is not just about the Patient so the first tune I play is "You Are my Sunshine". Halfway through the Daughter stands up and grabs a tissue and wipes one tear from her Mother's Eye. "Tony" sang this tune to her Children. As I finished up the Tune the Daughter asked that I play it a couple more times. Again, it's about the Family as well as the Patient.
I left the Daughter with a hug and the hopes that "Tony" would have a peaceful passing. I so wanted to stay with her for the day but I had a long list of patients to see that day, all deserving of Therapeutic Music. I went to "Tony's" bedside and told her I was leaving and I wanted her to listen to all the Harp Music that was in her head. I spoke the line from the song, "you make me happy, when skies are grey". She moved her lip.
UPDATE:
This morning I received an email from the Activities Director of the Facility who was outraged over this. Immediate action was taken and the Patient and her Family were moved to a Private Room to have a peaceful environment with what little time the Patient has left. I am so grateful for the swift and compassionate response from this Facility and especially the Activities Director.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Joyful, Joyful we Adore Thee !
Wednesday Evening, January 15, 2014....foggy, rainy and cold. Just about where it should be for mid-January!
Today, after a 3 week absence (due to the Flu...probably picked up from the Facility) I returned in a Volunteer Capacity to one of the Facilities I did my Internship Hours. It is Long-term Nursing. I am scheduled to be employed there when they move into their new Facility...first it was November...then December....January.....surely February....nope...found out today...at least March. Which means I keep myself in the minds and hearts of the Staff and Patients by Volunteering, or I throw in the towel and move on. Of course, I love my Patients there and the Staff is so loving and caring....they are all "getting it" when it comes to Therapeutic Music. I have educated them well and to have it validated and appreciated by them all...from the Kitchen to the PT Unit, the Admissions Director, the Office Staff, the Aids, Nurses and Staff....they have all been a part of my Journey. So you are probably asking why they don't just hire me. Well, the wheels of a large corporation turn slowly and frugally. They are given a Budget to work with..."per patient". When they move to the new, large facility the Budget will increase...hence I will be employed. I will continue to volunteer, appreciating what employment I currently have. It was wonderful to be there again today, but as in most days, it started out on a sad note.......
I got my updated list of Patients...and below the names are the Patients that have passed since my last visit. At the top of the list was Ms. S....in my previous posts I spoke of her and how she never responded to anyone in anyway....until I brought her the Harp. The Director and Staff stood in the doorway and cried at the amazing change in her as I played......but she has passed and I am so grateful to have given her that joy when she had no other. Saddness
I went to play for Ms D...cranky Ms D.....and she flat refused...normally I would sit outside her door and play but today she looked so sick and sad. She really did mean she didn't want anything...so I decided not to push it. One thing I have learned as a Therapeutic Musician is to be respectful, regardless of the level of function physically or mentally...everyone deserves respect.
I traveled on to visit one of my favorites Ms. L.....but she was not in her room....I have never seen her out of bed so I found a Nurse and she told me she was in the Dayroom.....wow, there she was sitting up in her wheelchair. Also in the room were 4 other Patients so I decided to just play there. The entire time I was playing the Gentleman sitting next to me was asking me for water. Pleading for water...please just a little drink of water....I know he can not have anything by mouth, as he has lost his ability to swallow and would choke to death. But it's so hard to ignore someone's plea for something so basic. I pushed through, smiling at the lady to my left that was so loving the music that she fell asleep smiling. Across from me was Ms L....moving around, looking in all directions the entire time. I think she loves the Music, but is unable to express it. Next to her is a beautiful lady who is quite crippled and has to look at you sideways, as she can't move her head. In spite of her physical disabilities, her smile makes her absolutely beautiful. When I finished I asked her if she enjoyed the Music and she tried to shake her head yes and a huge smile....I told her I would be back to play again for her and again....biggest smile. Heartwarming
I was excited to see my two favorite men....Mr. A and Mr. N. Mr. A always sings and asks if his Wife comes to see him and if she loves him. Mr. N had quit eating until I bribed him with Music. When I entered the room my heart sank. Mr. N was so frail and placed in Hospice Care. I wanted to hug him. As I was taking this all in I heard Mr. A ask if his Wife had been to see him. When I looked up my heart sank again....he also is placed in Hospice. I did manage to get Mr. N to open his eyes and smile when I called his name and told him I was going to play my harp for him. And Mr. A did sing a few tunes, half-heartedly, but the 2 sweet men that I so enjoyed seeing are slowly leaving this world and it truly brakes my heart. Inevitable
I have ways of coping with the deaths of Patients that I have grown to love. It's important that I have my little ceremony to let go of the grief that I feel when they pass. It comes with the job, regardless of the Facility. Yesterday at another Facility a sweet man I played for passed during the night. So you are often greeted with this unsettling news. I suppose I could get burned out quickly if I forget why I am there and what kind of an impact Therapeutic Music has on the Sick and Dying. When I think of the joy, peace, spiritual healing, relief from pain, memory recall and the complete healing environment that the Harp creates around them, I am pleased with my work. My favorite Tune to play is "Ode to Joy"...it always fits the situation. I am Dedicated
Today, after a 3 week absence (due to the Flu...probably picked up from the Facility) I returned in a Volunteer Capacity to one of the Facilities I did my Internship Hours. It is Long-term Nursing. I am scheduled to be employed there when they move into their new Facility...first it was November...then December....January.....surely February....nope...found out today...at least March. Which means I keep myself in the minds and hearts of the Staff and Patients by Volunteering, or I throw in the towel and move on. Of course, I love my Patients there and the Staff is so loving and caring....they are all "getting it" when it comes to Therapeutic Music. I have educated them well and to have it validated and appreciated by them all...from the Kitchen to the PT Unit, the Admissions Director, the Office Staff, the Aids, Nurses and Staff....they have all been a part of my Journey. So you are probably asking why they don't just hire me. Well, the wheels of a large corporation turn slowly and frugally. They are given a Budget to work with..."per patient". When they move to the new, large facility the Budget will increase...hence I will be employed. I will continue to volunteer, appreciating what employment I currently have. It was wonderful to be there again today, but as in most days, it started out on a sad note.......
I got my updated list of Patients...and below the names are the Patients that have passed since my last visit. At the top of the list was Ms. S....in my previous posts I spoke of her and how she never responded to anyone in anyway....until I brought her the Harp. The Director and Staff stood in the doorway and cried at the amazing change in her as I played......but she has passed and I am so grateful to have given her that joy when she had no other. Saddness
I went to play for Ms D...cranky Ms D.....and she flat refused...normally I would sit outside her door and play but today she looked so sick and sad. She really did mean she didn't want anything...so I decided not to push it. One thing I have learned as a Therapeutic Musician is to be respectful, regardless of the level of function physically or mentally...everyone deserves respect.
I traveled on to visit one of my favorites Ms. L.....but she was not in her room....I have never seen her out of bed so I found a Nurse and she told me she was in the Dayroom.....wow, there she was sitting up in her wheelchair. Also in the room were 4 other Patients so I decided to just play there. The entire time I was playing the Gentleman sitting next to me was asking me for water. Pleading for water...please just a little drink of water....I know he can not have anything by mouth, as he has lost his ability to swallow and would choke to death. But it's so hard to ignore someone's plea for something so basic. I pushed through, smiling at the lady to my left that was so loving the music that she fell asleep smiling. Across from me was Ms L....moving around, looking in all directions the entire time. I think she loves the Music, but is unable to express it. Next to her is a beautiful lady who is quite crippled and has to look at you sideways, as she can't move her head. In spite of her physical disabilities, her smile makes her absolutely beautiful. When I finished I asked her if she enjoyed the Music and she tried to shake her head yes and a huge smile....I told her I would be back to play again for her and again....biggest smile. Heartwarming
I was excited to see my two favorite men....Mr. A and Mr. N. Mr. A always sings and asks if his Wife comes to see him and if she loves him. Mr. N had quit eating until I bribed him with Music. When I entered the room my heart sank. Mr. N was so frail and placed in Hospice Care. I wanted to hug him. As I was taking this all in I heard Mr. A ask if his Wife had been to see him. When I looked up my heart sank again....he also is placed in Hospice. I did manage to get Mr. N to open his eyes and smile when I called his name and told him I was going to play my harp for him. And Mr. A did sing a few tunes, half-heartedly, but the 2 sweet men that I so enjoyed seeing are slowly leaving this world and it truly brakes my heart. Inevitable
I have ways of coping with the deaths of Patients that I have grown to love. It's important that I have my little ceremony to let go of the grief that I feel when they pass. It comes with the job, regardless of the Facility. Yesterday at another Facility a sweet man I played for passed during the night. So you are often greeted with this unsettling news. I suppose I could get burned out quickly if I forget why I am there and what kind of an impact Therapeutic Music has on the Sick and Dying. When I think of the joy, peace, spiritual healing, relief from pain, memory recall and the complete healing environment that the Harp creates around them, I am pleased with my work. My favorite Tune to play is "Ode to Joy"...it always fits the situation. I am Dedicated
Saturday, January 11, 2014
I am Strong and Grateful
Saturday Morning, January 11, 2013.....a dark, rainy morning but cozy. I am grateful
This was a very emotional week for me and I am careful to take care of myself by eating well, getting enough rest and venting (thank goodness for my Husband and friends) to release this tension and saddness. My best friend's Mom passed away this week and it's so hard to believe she is gone. She has been part of our lives for over 30 years and I know exactly how my friend feels....I think we revert back to when we were little kids when your last Parent passes.....you really are on your own. I was honored to play my Harp as a prelude to the Mass at her Funeral. I am not a performer so I was a little nervous...but I told myself I was doing a Therapeutic Session for "the Masses" lol......it worked!
One of the things that I found important in my Course Studies were the chapters on caring for yourself while you are doing the Service of Therapeutic Music. To allow yourself to grieve when you loose a Patient, or play for someone who is so dreadfully sad. I don't think you could do this work for very long if you didn't have an outlet and a way to let go of the stress. Fortunately, I do see the good and the beauty in the world, despite the saddness.....my cup is always 1/2 full.
So this takes me to my Patients last week. My first Patient was a lady, I will call her C. I am not sure why she is bed-bound, but she is on oxygen and I have played for her many times. I hadn't seen her for about 4 weeks, so when I came to her door she just lit up. I explained I had been sick and she looked at me and said, "I am sick too, aren't I?"......well what do you say to that? So I played her favorite tunes and she immediately lowered her bed and closed her eyes. She told me as I was leaving that having Music was more important to her than having food.
From there I went to Ms B....I see a deterioration in her condition in the last few weeks. She loves Irish Music and before I even start playing she has her hands crossed over her chest and her eyes closed. Sometimes I chuckle to myself, it's like she is "in position" to be healed.....Body, Mind and Spirit. She has told me many times that when I play she travels from her bed and walks in the grass outside her window. She says it smells fresh and clean out there.
Off to see my 2 special Ladies...M and J. I love playing for them. Both are failing, but M cracks me up. She doesn't raise her bed anymore, she just lays on her back, waving her hands in the air to the music....singing softly. She loves the Music and when I am done she just lays there smiling with her eyes closed. J loves her Hymns and I believe they are both truly healed in Spirit when I leave their room.
On my way to my next Patient I stopped by to visit Ms. A......she is transitioning and I am prepared for her to be gone when I get there tomorrow. I played for her a few days ago and had a little response from her but this past Session she never opened her eyes or responded in any way. Just a peaceful rest with very shallow breathing. She is a beautiful lady, probably in her late 80's. I knew she heard the Harp but I also knew she had no strength. As I was leaving I noticed her eyes were open a little so I went to her bedside and called her name....to my surprise she opened her eyes wide and looked at me. I asked her if she liked the Music and she gave me a beautiful smile.....so I told her the Music was still in her head and she could listen to it over and over. Another big smile, I was so happy she engaged with me, as it may have been the last time.
So now I have been playing for 2 hours, as each Session is 30 minutes. My fingers and back are telling me one more patient and then I need to call it a day....so off I go to visit a new Patient....a screamer. All I can say about this Patient is ......unimaginable pain. 24/7 pain. No relief from pain. The young husband explained the medical reasons for the pain, but I still can't fathom it. He was so grateful for the Harp.....even though the patient had repeated outbursts of pain he said it was 1000 x's better than it normally is...can you imagine????? better??? At one point she was moaning and the husband had his head in his hands crying and he said to his wife...."honey are you singing"
Today is a day of recuperation for me. I am going to clean my house, do my laundry, record my last requirement for my course, go to the grocery store and play mindless rock and roll on my Jukeboxes. Tomorrow I am back to work, bringing healing to my Lady....and if Ms. A is still with us, I will slip in her room and play for her too. I am so grateful for what I have and what I am able to do.
This was a very emotional week for me and I am careful to take care of myself by eating well, getting enough rest and venting (thank goodness for my Husband and friends) to release this tension and saddness. My best friend's Mom passed away this week and it's so hard to believe she is gone. She has been part of our lives for over 30 years and I know exactly how my friend feels....I think we revert back to when we were little kids when your last Parent passes.....you really are on your own. I was honored to play my Harp as a prelude to the Mass at her Funeral. I am not a performer so I was a little nervous...but I told myself I was doing a Therapeutic Session for "the Masses" lol......it worked!
One of the things that I found important in my Course Studies were the chapters on caring for yourself while you are doing the Service of Therapeutic Music. To allow yourself to grieve when you loose a Patient, or play for someone who is so dreadfully sad. I don't think you could do this work for very long if you didn't have an outlet and a way to let go of the stress. Fortunately, I do see the good and the beauty in the world, despite the saddness.....my cup is always 1/2 full.
So this takes me to my Patients last week. My first Patient was a lady, I will call her C. I am not sure why she is bed-bound, but she is on oxygen and I have played for her many times. I hadn't seen her for about 4 weeks, so when I came to her door she just lit up. I explained I had been sick and she looked at me and said, "I am sick too, aren't I?"......well what do you say to that? So I played her favorite tunes and she immediately lowered her bed and closed her eyes. She told me as I was leaving that having Music was more important to her than having food.
From there I went to Ms B....I see a deterioration in her condition in the last few weeks. She loves Irish Music and before I even start playing she has her hands crossed over her chest and her eyes closed. Sometimes I chuckle to myself, it's like she is "in position" to be healed.....Body, Mind and Spirit. She has told me many times that when I play she travels from her bed and walks in the grass outside her window. She says it smells fresh and clean out there.
Off to see my 2 special Ladies...M and J. I love playing for them. Both are failing, but M cracks me up. She doesn't raise her bed anymore, she just lays on her back, waving her hands in the air to the music....singing softly. She loves the Music and when I am done she just lays there smiling with her eyes closed. J loves her Hymns and I believe they are both truly healed in Spirit when I leave their room.
On my way to my next Patient I stopped by to visit Ms. A......she is transitioning and I am prepared for her to be gone when I get there tomorrow. I played for her a few days ago and had a little response from her but this past Session she never opened her eyes or responded in any way. Just a peaceful rest with very shallow breathing. She is a beautiful lady, probably in her late 80's. I knew she heard the Harp but I also knew she had no strength. As I was leaving I noticed her eyes were open a little so I went to her bedside and called her name....to my surprise she opened her eyes wide and looked at me. I asked her if she liked the Music and she gave me a beautiful smile.....so I told her the Music was still in her head and she could listen to it over and over. Another big smile, I was so happy she engaged with me, as it may have been the last time.
So now I have been playing for 2 hours, as each Session is 30 minutes. My fingers and back are telling me one more patient and then I need to call it a day....so off I go to visit a new Patient....a screamer. All I can say about this Patient is ......unimaginable pain. 24/7 pain. No relief from pain. The young husband explained the medical reasons for the pain, but I still can't fathom it. He was so grateful for the Harp.....even though the patient had repeated outbursts of pain he said it was 1000 x's better than it normally is...can you imagine????? better??? At one point she was moaning and the husband had his head in his hands crying and he said to his wife...."honey are you singing"
Today is a day of recuperation for me. I am going to clean my house, do my laundry, record my last requirement for my course, go to the grocery store and play mindless rock and roll on my Jukeboxes. Tomorrow I am back to work, bringing healing to my Lady....and if Ms. A is still with us, I will slip in her room and play for her too. I am so grateful for what I have and what I am able to do.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
A Cradle of Sound
WednesdayEvening, January 8, 2014.....cold but not as cold as it was the last couple days.....something about those crazy Canadians sending us Americans Polar Air.....Ay? lol
Anyway.....I wanted to blog about my Companion and Lady friend. She has been very sick with the Upper Respiratory Flu, along with her roommate and a dozen other Residents who have a weakened immune system. It takes so much out of her, she is still on an antibiotic but the cough and congestion lingers. I feel like Music is all she has to stimulate her mind and body.
The last 3 visits it has taken me an hour or so to get her fully engaged with me. This is so unlike her. Today I played my Harp next to her bed and put her hand on the wood so she could feel the Vibrations....she just sighed loudly a couple times...meaning she was content. She was SO content, she drifted off again for about an hour! When she started to wake I had her moved to her chair and took her to the Computer Room for a change of sounds (not sights, as she is blind). While we were in there I played a Bob Dylan Album on my IPAD for her....she just lit up! LOVED the Harmonica and tapped her feet to the Music....we were Rockin.
I am constantly trying to find new things to expose her to each time I am there and of course they are all related to Music. We continued on to the Dining Room where I played Piano for an hour or so...geeze today I made tons of mistakes...my mind must have been on several different things and none of them were Piano! There is a Resident there that is over 100 and she loves to wheel right up next to me on the other side of the Piano to listen....she claps after each piece and tries to sing along, not remembering any of the words....it's just priceless and joyful. My hope is my Lady will regain some of the ground she has lost and can enjoy and engage with my Music. I'm feeling a little down tonight but I will start fresh tomorrow with strong Intentions to create a cradle of sound around her....to encase her with the beauty and vibrations, the total mind, body and spirit healing that Music can give. Notice I said "healing" and not "curing"....we all deserve this total healing, this Cradle of Sound.
Anyway.....I wanted to blog about my Companion and Lady friend. She has been very sick with the Upper Respiratory Flu, along with her roommate and a dozen other Residents who have a weakened immune system. It takes so much out of her, she is still on an antibiotic but the cough and congestion lingers. I feel like Music is all she has to stimulate her mind and body.
The last 3 visits it has taken me an hour or so to get her fully engaged with me. This is so unlike her. Today I played my Harp next to her bed and put her hand on the wood so she could feel the Vibrations....she just sighed loudly a couple times...meaning she was content. She was SO content, she drifted off again for about an hour! When she started to wake I had her moved to her chair and took her to the Computer Room for a change of sounds (not sights, as she is blind). While we were in there I played a Bob Dylan Album on my IPAD for her....she just lit up! LOVED the Harmonica and tapped her feet to the Music....we were Rockin.
I am constantly trying to find new things to expose her to each time I am there and of course they are all related to Music. We continued on to the Dining Room where I played Piano for an hour or so...geeze today I made tons of mistakes...my mind must have been on several different things and none of them were Piano! There is a Resident there that is over 100 and she loves to wheel right up next to me on the other side of the Piano to listen....she claps after each piece and tries to sing along, not remembering any of the words....it's just priceless and joyful. My hope is my Lady will regain some of the ground she has lost and can enjoy and engage with my Music. I'm feeling a little down tonight but I will start fresh tomorrow with strong Intentions to create a cradle of sound around her....to encase her with the beauty and vibrations, the total mind, body and spirit healing that Music can give. Notice I said "healing" and not "curing"....we all deserve this total healing, this Cradle of Sound.
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