It feels Good to Laugh

Thursday evening, June 26, 2014…beautiful breeze outside and smells like Summer

So I don't know if I can put into words, how I felt today while doing Therapeutic Music.  I am so lucky to have patients of all kinds, long-term, hospice, young and old.  Each patient I see is different and demands my focus on their personal needs.  Sometimes at the end of the day I am so tired, mentally and emotionally tired.  Of all the Patients I see, my real passion is on the Dementia and Alzheimer's Patients.  I'm going to carry on a bit about how our Society is selfish and allows loved ones to be placed in these Facilities before it might be necessary.  We don't want to give of ourselves or be inconvenienced to care for an elderly or sick family member.  Granted, there are times when there is No other option, the physical demands of a very sick person can be too much for at-home care.  But I am always blown away at the number of Patients I see that really would do fine with family…and most of them DO have family!!

So this population is isolated with very little "compassionate" care.  Remember, these are Facilities with staff that come to work and leave it behind them.  Perhaps I am so passionate for this generation because I was raised with my Grandparents living with us…they moved in when I was in 4th Grade and stayed until they died in their 80's.  My Grandfather spend a few months in a Nursing Home and then was transferred to the VA Hospital where he passed away.  My Parents cared for him as long as it was physically possible.  My Grandma died in the Hospital after being very sick.  Every face I see reminds me of my Parents and my Grandparents.  They are someone's Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Grandma or Grandpa, a favorite Aunt or Uncle.  The worst are those who have no living family….totally forgotten and left to the grow sicker and older for lack of love or an advocate on their behalf.

So now that I have depressed myself, once again…..there was a most joyous event today.  While I was waiting outside my Patient's room, I walked back and forth in the Hallway and stopped at a doorway that was very dark and had 4 Patients in the room, all male patients.  I was curious about this room so I went to the Nurse's Station and asked if these Patients would benefit from Harp Music.  Immediately 2 of the Staff said YES….at least 2 of the Patients would love it, not sure about the other 2.  So I was off….brought my Harp in and tried to adjust my eyes to the dim light.  My Harp lights had dead batteries and there was a little light from the TV and doorway…not the easiest environment to play the Harp in!

I said hello and introduced myself.  The first bed had a patient that was non-responsive, he is Patient A.  The bed on my right had a Patient that had his sheet over his head he is Patient B, the Patient next to him was awake and staring at the ceiling he is Patient C and across from him was Patient D..he was also staring at the ceiling.  No response from any of them.  I started playing my Harp very softly, so not to startle them.  I played unfamiliar music, improvising as I went along.  I noticed Patient C was watching me play so I decided to play "God Bless America", something familiar.  All of a sudden Patient C laughed so loud and so violently that it scared the hell out of me.  I looked around and wondered if I had done the right thing, coming into this room.  Perhaps I was having the opposite effect on them.  He continued to laugh and then he said, "it is so beautiful" and started to cry.  OK….I am in the right place.

Patient A did not wake up, Patient B still had his sheet over his head but I looked at Patient D and noticed he was waving his hand to the music.  At times Patient C would laugh out loud, especially if he knew the Tune.  Little by little I noticed he was singing and then Patient D started singing some of the words.  Patient B had turned over and taken his sheet off his head and was watching me play……3 out of 4 ain't too shabby!  Patient C called out, "I am laughing!"  and "it feels good to laugh".  I was so overwhelmed with joy for these men who were feeling love, compassion, memory recall and mostly joy all from the simple harp.  They especially liked it when I sang to the tune.  I am not a singer, but I love to sing anyway and they were just to tickled.

There is never a good way to say goodbye when I know I must leave.  I had stayed in this room far longer than any other.  I told them I would be back to see them and I was so happy they enjoyed the music.  They just stared at me, like I had popped their balloon.  As I was leaving down the hallway I heard Patient C singing like he was an Operatic Tenor….I got so tickled I went back into the room and told him to keep on singing till I came back.

It's so frustrating to know that there will be little else for these men until I can get back there to play for them again.  Is it our selfish society or ignorance that doesn't want to see how we house the Elderly.  The Baby Boomers will fill the Facilities within the next 10-12 years…we must make changes and advocate for compassionate and stimulating care for our loved ones.  All the living and experiences these patients have to share is a wealth of joy for us…they are funny and still have so much to give if someone would just take the time to listen.

So our generation needs to think about the care that we will want in the near future….if we got involved could we advocate for more social interaction and personalized intervention….more music for ALL?   When I put myself in one of those beds I start screaming NOOOOOOOOOOO  don't leave me here and then I realize there are changes that can and must be made.

My Candle is Burning

Wednesday, June 4, 2014….Summer-e out there!  Muggy and hot and I love it!

Today one of Residents, who will turn 107 in the fall, was very quiet…sitting alone in her wheelchair, off by herself.  Normally she is cruising up and down the halls chatting with everyone.  I sat next other (she is VERY hard of hearing and asked how she was.  She waited a minute and said, "I am very sad today, I learned that I am blind."  I felt terrible for her and asked her if she had been to the Dr. and she said no.  So I asked her, how did she know she was Blind and she started chuckling and said, "cause I can't see a thing!"  OMG OMG OMG I selfishly want her to live forever.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014…another hot and muggy day…yea!

Yesterday I was told when I arrived at work that my Led Zeppelin loving Patient, "J" was transitioning.  No surprise but I am never ready.  When I get complacent about Death, then I am in the wrong place, personally and I am not doing my work properly.  The Patient's Brother came to me and introduced himself and thanked me, on behalf of the Family for spending so much time with him and in particular, playing "Stairway to Heaven" for him last week.  As the word spread, many Residents needed lost of hugs and conversation.  One Resident told me he had just shook his hand earlier and patted his shoulder.  I reminded him that it was time well spent and I am sure it made a difference to him.  He just smiled at me…..still so hard to accept.

When I got home I played my Singing Bowl, lit my candle for him and meditated for a while.  Poor Tad, when he comes home and asks, "how was your day", I always bombard him with events good and bad, and he always listens.  He is my rock, my humor, my "back to normal".

This morning as I was drinking my coffee, I received an email from another Facility where my peeps are….Mr. A passed away early this morning.  I almost typed, "he was my favorite" but I really love them all and it's difficult to let any of them go.

On a happier note, my Companion has been doing wonderfully all week and very responsive to Music. Lots of smiles and foot tapping.  She is my ray of sunshine when I start to feel down…what she endures each hour is hard to imagine.  So my Candle is burning for Mr. A...