Wednesday, August 6, 2014... 9:44pm and the most beautiful evening for August!!!!
I wanted to post about my Patient, Mr. S and his experience with the IPOD Memory & Recall. I have concentrated on him for the last 2 weeks. Noting his condition when I first met him a few months ago. He was usually in bed. Did not communicate except for single words like yes, no, thank you. He was always polite and loved Therapeutic Harp. I gave him the IPOD 2 weeks ago.
The first time I gave it to him, it was loaded with Vintage Music like Big Band, Pop Hits from the 30's and 40's. He was unable to answer simple questions like "what kind of music do you like" or "what is your name". I sat in the room and watched him for about 40 minutes. At first there was little reaction. Then I noticed his foot was moving and he lifted it off the wheelchair and placed it on the floor. He started tapping to the music with his right foot. A while later he was crying, so I took off the IPOD and asked him the following questions:
"why are you crying"….I don't know
"do you like the music"…..yes it's beautiful
"does the music make you remember things"…..yes, I remember
"is that why you are crying, because you remember"…..yes that's why
"do you want more music or are you done for now"…..I want more music
So I put the IPOD back on his head and 4 hours later, he still had it on! He cried when I took it for the night, but I promised I would give it back the next day.
Mr. S has had the IPOD several times a week. Last week I learned he was a Scientist and Engineer for NASA and helped put a man on the Moon. Imagine that. His wife told me the Astronauts ate dinner at their home on a regular basis. Information like this from family is so valuable when trying to rekindle a memory. This information gives me a base to work with so I have been documenting his responses to very simple questions before the IPOD goes on, after 20 minutes of music and after 1 hr of music.
Last week he was able to answer in 1 or 2 words, when I would ask him about his job at NASA. He would grin and smile when he remembered things. I could see such progress as we went through the week, he was happier and listened more carefully and responded more quickly.
Monday, August 4, 2014 he was looking at some pictures on the table of Apollo and various Space Pictures. I put on the IPOD and after 20 minutes, took it off and asked him his name. He gave me BOTH names. I said we would write it, so I helped him hold a pen and told him I didn't know how to spell it so he spelled his first and last name….unbelievable. Then I asked him about his children, he name them off in no time!!!
After 1 hour I removed the IPOD and asked him about music:
"do you like music"…I love music
"does this music help you remember when you were young"….yes I remember being young
"do you like to dance"….yes XX (his wife) likes to dance
"do you remember your job at NASA"…..
he starts crying so I hugged him and asked why he was crying and he said some random thing and then said, "it was hard to get home, very scary" This took me a minute to click, but he was talking about the Moon Landing and how scared Control Center was about getting them home again.
This is totally amazing and we are not done yet!!! In a perfect world, there would be funding to pay me or someone else to document EVERY patient that is part of this Music & Memory Project. I feel like I am walking uphill backwards and sometimes very frustrated, but when I see this beautiful soul remembering WHO he was and enjoying memories of his childhood, marriage, children, job and friends, it keeps me motivated and committed.
I need MORE IPODS!! This is at 1 Facility, I work at 3 Facilities. I am so grateful for the generous donations of used IPODS and to the INdiegogo Campaign. I am $320 short of my goal. The $500 Goal is to purchase 10 new IPOD Shuffles. Your Gift of an IPOD is changing lives…giving back life!
Please think of your loved ones….make them a playlist….give them music everyday, and do the same for yourself!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Friday, August 1, 2014
Another Healing Modality
Friday!!! not only a day off but it's gonna rain :) That's ok…it's summertime
It seems my Therapeutic Harping has taken me to another crossroad. I think it's ok and in fact, important to keep branching out and making small changes where you feel the need. Doing my Bedside Therapeutic Harp in Assisted Living/Long-term Nursing Facilities, has opened my eyes to what most of us want to "overlook" and that is the housing of our Elders. My Therapeutic work has a great impact on patients. I focus on bedridden or hospice patients that don't leave their beds…or rooms. But there is another population within these facilities that are sort of the middle man. These patients can be ambulatory in a wheelchair or a walker and although, physically they are tended to, I realize their minds and their very identity are buried deep inside and sometimes lost forever.
For these very patients, I started a Memory and Recall Event using donated IPODS. Each IPOD is loaded with music from a particular Genre, Big Band, 50's Rock & Roll, Crooners like Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, Country, Gospel and the list goes on and on. The idea behind the IPOD project is to place the IPOD on the patient, preferably first thing in the morning when they are rested and their minds are the most clear. 2 hours of music, on a regular basis is shown to have the most remarkable effects on memory recall, socialization and behavioral improvements.
Educating Staff and Family members on the benefits is key to success and it's also a slow process. What is also key is to stress that the IPOD is NOT a replacement for human touch, visual stimulation, or a babysitting tool. I have a difficult time giving up control of such a project, but I also know I can not do it without the help of the Staff.
I have had the most amazing and generous support from my family, friends and through Social Media in securing donated IPODS. I started an on-line Indiegogo Fundraising Campaign and the very first people to donate money towards New IPOD Shuffles were from Whitney Paulk (friend of my Daughter Lindsey) and Kimberly Sabatano, a longtime family friend. My gratitude grew from there to other contributors and is still happening. The Campaign runs until September and my goal is to purchase 10 New IPODS at $40 each. Please if you've not joined this Campaign, please give what you can, this is such an important project. Here is the link :
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/music-memory-ipod-funding.
Each day I am amazed at the progress that patients are making and I am so happy that the families have a little piece of their loved one back, if only for a little while. There are so many Modalities of Healing that we don't tap into, the Western World of Medicine is very skeptical if the healing method doesn't require drugs, surgery or "traditional medicine" but the good news is, we now have the equipment and technology to SEE these results that Eastern Medicine has been practicing for Centuries.
I am not alone, I have the support, love and compassion from you and you and you that are reading this Blog and contributing to the used IPOD Donation or the Ingiegogo Fund Raising for New IPOD Shuffles. My deepest and heartfelt thank-you's.
There are stories to share everyday about the amazing impact the IPODS have on the Patients. Here are just a few from this past week….
July 25th:
Big challenge today with a very difficult patient….she too is a screamer and a thrower…last week she threw her food at me on my way by her…I have an IPOD made up just for her with Childrens Tunes and tons of Disney Songs…it could go either way, peaceful or I will be dodging the Headphones!!! (the IPODS are secured to the back of the Wheelchair so they can not be damaged) I am so hoping we get a peaceful response
update:
ok a bit more detail…OMG it was so wonderful and so fun! This Patient is mentally and physically handicapped and the Staff has grown to love her like one of their children. But as we all know, little children can be challenging and so she is known for throwing things, screaming for hours on end and throwing fits…REAL fits. When I entered the Unit the Staff all looked at me like, "seriously you are going to put that on?" One of the Nurses walked over, took it from me and looked at the patient and said…"look, music…we are going to sing" and she put on the headphones herself and started dancing around…so the patient is grinning from ear to ear. Then the Nurse places them on her head and it was BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLLLLL ..she was quiet for a minute, Old McDonald Had a Farm was playing and when she recognized it she grinned and screamed with delight! We all were dancing and clapping around her and she was so happy it made me cry. Then she said, "bed, music in bed"…we cracked up because she wanted to get in bed with her Headset…she was content.
So simple, so easy…no Meds…just joyful music because so many people gave IPODS from their heart.
July 28:
I want to share another Music & Memory experience today…actually 2 of them. There is a Patient who doesn't communicate, other than yes/no/thank you. Today I put an IPOD on him…I took it off about 20 minutes later and asked him what he did for a living…he just looked at me and I said, did you work for NASA and he smiled and said yes I did. I said, "you used to hobnob with Astronauts and have them in your home for Dinner" and he said yes, they ate dinner with me. This Scientist/Engineer worked on our Space Program. He is a brilliant man and after a STIFF jolt of music, he was able to carry on a conversation with me…can you say AMAZING?????
Story 2…I was working in the Computer room, adjusting/charging IPODS and a woman came in with her mother. The Daughter asked me about the IPODS so I explained the Project and told her that when there were enough donated, her mother could get one from the Unit Desk or the Family could request one for depression, agitation or sundowning. She asked if her mother could try one and the mother said, "oh no, not now"…so the daughter put on the headphones and said, oh Mom, this is your favorite song"…she then plopped the headset on her mother and her mom sat there…listening, closed her eyes and the Daughter said to me…."how much will this cost?"…..I said, nothing, this is a gift from the most generous people in the world.
It seems my Therapeutic Harping has taken me to another crossroad. I think it's ok and in fact, important to keep branching out and making small changes where you feel the need. Doing my Bedside Therapeutic Harp in Assisted Living/Long-term Nursing Facilities, has opened my eyes to what most of us want to "overlook" and that is the housing of our Elders. My Therapeutic work has a great impact on patients. I focus on bedridden or hospice patients that don't leave their beds…or rooms. But there is another population within these facilities that are sort of the middle man. These patients can be ambulatory in a wheelchair or a walker and although, physically they are tended to, I realize their minds and their very identity are buried deep inside and sometimes lost forever.
For these very patients, I started a Memory and Recall Event using donated IPODS. Each IPOD is loaded with music from a particular Genre, Big Band, 50's Rock & Roll, Crooners like Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, Country, Gospel and the list goes on and on. The idea behind the IPOD project is to place the IPOD on the patient, preferably first thing in the morning when they are rested and their minds are the most clear. 2 hours of music, on a regular basis is shown to have the most remarkable effects on memory recall, socialization and behavioral improvements.
Educating Staff and Family members on the benefits is key to success and it's also a slow process. What is also key is to stress that the IPOD is NOT a replacement for human touch, visual stimulation, or a babysitting tool. I have a difficult time giving up control of such a project, but I also know I can not do it without the help of the Staff.
I have had the most amazing and generous support from my family, friends and through Social Media in securing donated IPODS. I started an on-line Indiegogo Fundraising Campaign and the very first people to donate money towards New IPOD Shuffles were from Whitney Paulk (friend of my Daughter Lindsey) and Kimberly Sabatano, a longtime family friend. My gratitude grew from there to other contributors and is still happening. The Campaign runs until September and my goal is to purchase 10 New IPODS at $40 each. Please if you've not joined this Campaign, please give what you can, this is such an important project. Here is the link :
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/music-memory-ipod-funding.
Each day I am amazed at the progress that patients are making and I am so happy that the families have a little piece of their loved one back, if only for a little while. There are so many Modalities of Healing that we don't tap into, the Western World of Medicine is very skeptical if the healing method doesn't require drugs, surgery or "traditional medicine" but the good news is, we now have the equipment and technology to SEE these results that Eastern Medicine has been practicing for Centuries.
I am not alone, I have the support, love and compassion from you and you and you that are reading this Blog and contributing to the used IPOD Donation or the Ingiegogo Fund Raising for New IPOD Shuffles. My deepest and heartfelt thank-you's.
There are stories to share everyday about the amazing impact the IPODS have on the Patients. Here are just a few from this past week….
July 25th:
Big challenge today with a very difficult patient….she too is a screamer and a thrower…last week she threw her food at me on my way by her…I have an IPOD made up just for her with Childrens Tunes and tons of Disney Songs…it could go either way, peaceful or I will be dodging the Headphones!!! (the IPODS are secured to the back of the Wheelchair so they can not be damaged) I am so hoping we get a peaceful response
update:
ok a bit more detail…OMG it was so wonderful and so fun! This Patient is mentally and physically handicapped and the Staff has grown to love her like one of their children. But as we all know, little children can be challenging and so she is known for throwing things, screaming for hours on end and throwing fits…REAL fits. When I entered the Unit the Staff all looked at me like, "seriously you are going to put that on?" One of the Nurses walked over, took it from me and looked at the patient and said…"look, music…we are going to sing" and she put on the headphones herself and started dancing around…so the patient is grinning from ear to ear. Then the Nurse places them on her head and it was BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLLLLL ..she was quiet for a minute, Old McDonald Had a Farm was playing and when she recognized it she grinned and screamed with delight! We all were dancing and clapping around her and she was so happy it made me cry. Then she said, "bed, music in bed"…we cracked up because she wanted to get in bed with her Headset…she was content.
So simple, so easy…no Meds…just joyful music because so many people gave IPODS from their heart.
July 28:
I want to share another Music & Memory experience today…actually 2 of them. There is a Patient who doesn't communicate, other than yes/no/thank you. Today I put an IPOD on him…I took it off about 20 minutes later and asked him what he did for a living…he just looked at me and I said, did you work for NASA and he smiled and said yes I did. I said, "you used to hobnob with Astronauts and have them in your home for Dinner" and he said yes, they ate dinner with me. This Scientist/Engineer worked on our Space Program. He is a brilliant man and after a STIFF jolt of music, he was able to carry on a conversation with me…can you say AMAZING?????
Story 2…I was working in the Computer room, adjusting/charging IPODS and a woman came in with her mother. The Daughter asked me about the IPODS so I explained the Project and told her that when there were enough donated, her mother could get one from the Unit Desk or the Family could request one for depression, agitation or sundowning. She asked if her mother could try one and the mother said, "oh no, not now"…so the daughter put on the headphones and said, oh Mom, this is your favorite song"…she then plopped the headset on her mother and her mom sat there…listening, closed her eyes and the Daughter said to me…."how much will this cost?"…..I said, nothing, this is a gift from the most generous people in the world.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Monday, Monday…..can't trust that day
Monday, Monday….can't trust that day. Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be…
whew…I am a little tired, mentally and emotionally but I am ok and I am so grateful that I walked into my Companion's Room, to find her roommate, Miss B, who I have just fallen in love with, transitioning to the next life! Yep, didn't expect that, thank you Monday Monday.
I was met at the front door of the facility by Ms. J, who lost her roommate the night before. That too was a shocker. Since I've been there Ms. J has lost 3 roommates and she just falls apart when it happens. My heart aches for her, naturally she becomes very attached to her roommates and it's just so hard when they pass. So I set my Harp inside and walked back out and sat with Ms. J, listening and hugging. Then I took my Harp to my Companion's room, only to find Ms. B in grave condition.
I had other duties today, but I knew my main focus would be for Ms. B, providing soothing music to help her with a peaceful passing.
The first thing I needed to do was to "wire up" Mrs. H, the screamer….and I mean screamer, 24/7 at the top of her lungs. I played Harp for her last Thursday and I could not hear my Harp….but as I sat there my heart just broke, knowing she is a prisoner of her mind, trapped in this hell. As I entered the Unit I could hear her…great, I am going to stick an IPOD on her and see what happens…and….I have permission to film her!!!! So I grab an Aide and off we go, only to find her peacefully sitting by the window, not making a sound! Figures….so the Aide talks to her, clearly trying to get her in the present and possibly a good candidate for the IPOD…nope…she sat and stared at both of us. I totally lost it and then the Aide started laughing and between us we were making so much noise laughing WE should have had an IPOD. So I filmed the Aide placing the IPOD on her head so she could just enjoy the music and the most amazing thing happened…..she immediately and quietly started making noises, like she was singing and then she closed her eyes. Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee. I am so grateful and blessed to have the support from staff, Ms. C in particular, who walks right beside me on these ideas and projects. We have a very broken system of housing our Elders in this Country, but with staff members that see the short-comings and work very hard to fill in the gaps.
So I was off and running…it was time for my Companion to enjoy Harp Music and at the same time, I am giving this music to Ms. B as she is passing. After a couple hours my fingers hurt and my mind was wayyyyyyyyyy too groggy. I took a break and walked my Companion outside in the fresh air and cleared my head and rested my fingers. When I came back in, it was time for my Companion to have a shower so off to Ms. B I went, more Harp.
I have to tell you, as a Therapeutic Harpist, I am trained to play Unfamiliar, non-rhythmic music for a transitioning patient. The idea behind that style is so the patient's body rhythms don't entrain themselves to the rhythm of the Harp, it allows their body to shut down naturally. As far as playing Un-familiar tunes, it also allows the patient to let go of the present life and the familiar tunes they knew and move on. So for the longest time, that's what I did, that is what I have been trained to do. Ms. B struggled so hard and I kept telling her to let go and move on to the beautiful life that lay in front of her. NOPE, she struggled so hard for so long….by this time, my Companion was back and in bed and I didn't want her to hear (she is blind) Ms. B struggle so hard. I changed my tactics, yep I was also trained to use my judgement and intuition. There were 5 tunes that Ms. B loved,
I played them for her each week and we used to chat about why the songs meant so much to her. "Somewhere over the Rainbow"…she loved that because when her Mother left her with her Grandparents to raise her, that is what her Grandmother used to sing to her to stop her from crying when she missed her Mom. "Moon River" because she never married but she was in love with a Man once and that was "their song". "Jesus Loves Me" and "Amazing Grace", 2 songs she taught as a Music Teacher, to her Class, that she thought were important to know.
The last one was a surprise, a few months ago I asked her what her favorite song was. As a Life-long Music Teacher I thought it was going to be something complex and operatic. She said, "well, my Grandfather that raised me always sang "Home on the Range", so I guess that is my favorite". It was during Home on the Range that she took her last breath. As I played these 5 songs, she became very peaceful and her breathing was quiet and gentle. I played Ode to Joy for her after she passed…..I looked over at my Companion that was in the next bed and she was grinning from ear to ear…..she was LOVING the tunes I was playing, totally unaware of Ms. B's passing…or was she? I will never know.
Now, I am having a COLD Guinness and lighting my candles for Ms. A and Ms. B…in honor of their lives and the joyous way music sent them on their journey.
whew…I am a little tired, mentally and emotionally but I am ok and I am so grateful that I walked into my Companion's Room, to find her roommate, Miss B, who I have just fallen in love with, transitioning to the next life! Yep, didn't expect that, thank you Monday Monday.
I was met at the front door of the facility by Ms. J, who lost her roommate the night before. That too was a shocker. Since I've been there Ms. J has lost 3 roommates and she just falls apart when it happens. My heart aches for her, naturally she becomes very attached to her roommates and it's just so hard when they pass. So I set my Harp inside and walked back out and sat with Ms. J, listening and hugging. Then I took my Harp to my Companion's room, only to find Ms. B in grave condition.
I had other duties today, but I knew my main focus would be for Ms. B, providing soothing music to help her with a peaceful passing.
The first thing I needed to do was to "wire up" Mrs. H, the screamer….and I mean screamer, 24/7 at the top of her lungs. I played Harp for her last Thursday and I could not hear my Harp….but as I sat there my heart just broke, knowing she is a prisoner of her mind, trapped in this hell. As I entered the Unit I could hear her…great, I am going to stick an IPOD on her and see what happens…and….I have permission to film her!!!! So I grab an Aide and off we go, only to find her peacefully sitting by the window, not making a sound! Figures….so the Aide talks to her, clearly trying to get her in the present and possibly a good candidate for the IPOD…nope…she sat and stared at both of us. I totally lost it and then the Aide started laughing and between us we were making so much noise laughing WE should have had an IPOD. So I filmed the Aide placing the IPOD on her head so she could just enjoy the music and the most amazing thing happened…..she immediately and quietly started making noises, like she was singing and then she closed her eyes. Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee. I am so grateful and blessed to have the support from staff, Ms. C in particular, who walks right beside me on these ideas and projects. We have a very broken system of housing our Elders in this Country, but with staff members that see the short-comings and work very hard to fill in the gaps.
So I was off and running…it was time for my Companion to enjoy Harp Music and at the same time, I am giving this music to Ms. B as she is passing. After a couple hours my fingers hurt and my mind was wayyyyyyyyyy too groggy. I took a break and walked my Companion outside in the fresh air and cleared my head and rested my fingers. When I came back in, it was time for my Companion to have a shower so off to Ms. B I went, more Harp.
I have to tell you, as a Therapeutic Harpist, I am trained to play Unfamiliar, non-rhythmic music for a transitioning patient. The idea behind that style is so the patient's body rhythms don't entrain themselves to the rhythm of the Harp, it allows their body to shut down naturally. As far as playing Un-familiar tunes, it also allows the patient to let go of the present life and the familiar tunes they knew and move on. So for the longest time, that's what I did, that is what I have been trained to do. Ms. B struggled so hard and I kept telling her to let go and move on to the beautiful life that lay in front of her. NOPE, she struggled so hard for so long….by this time, my Companion was back and in bed and I didn't want her to hear (she is blind) Ms. B struggle so hard. I changed my tactics, yep I was also trained to use my judgement and intuition. There were 5 tunes that Ms. B loved,
I played them for her each week and we used to chat about why the songs meant so much to her. "Somewhere over the Rainbow"…she loved that because when her Mother left her with her Grandparents to raise her, that is what her Grandmother used to sing to her to stop her from crying when she missed her Mom. "Moon River" because she never married but she was in love with a Man once and that was "their song". "Jesus Loves Me" and "Amazing Grace", 2 songs she taught as a Music Teacher, to her Class, that she thought were important to know.
The last one was a surprise, a few months ago I asked her what her favorite song was. As a Life-long Music Teacher I thought it was going to be something complex and operatic. She said, "well, my Grandfather that raised me always sang "Home on the Range", so I guess that is my favorite". It was during Home on the Range that she took her last breath. As I played these 5 songs, she became very peaceful and her breathing was quiet and gentle. I played Ode to Joy for her after she passed…..I looked over at my Companion that was in the next bed and she was grinning from ear to ear…..she was LOVING the tunes I was playing, totally unaware of Ms. B's passing…or was she? I will never know.
Now, I am having a COLD Guinness and lighting my candles for Ms. A and Ms. B…in honor of their lives and the joyous way music sent them on their journey.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Subtle yet Powerful
Tuesday, July 1st!!!!! Going to be a Summer Scorcher today, Yaaaayyyyy
Yesterday was my first day using my 2 Donated IPODS (thank you thank you) for my Project at work, Music and Memory. Yesterday was one of 2 days a week that I am with my Companion so first things first….find her and check her condition and needs. I have grown to love this lady so much and her wonderful family is one to model after. My Companion, has someone everyday to advocate for her….a necessity when placed in a Facility, I don't care how new/old/cheap/expensive the Facility is, you MUST be there for your loved one.
So after snatching my Companion from the Dining Room (lol) I took her to the Day Room to be with other Patients and wanted her to also be a part of this experience. There was a Elder gentleman (I use the term ELDER out of respect for his age and what he has offered this world so far) in the room that I was not familiar with. In the room was also a Nurse who was Charting and one 2 other Patients, both of them I know well.
I approached the Elder, Mr. A, and asked if he liked music? He said, "yes, music" so I asked if he'd like to listen to some music and he smiled and said, "yes I like music." So the first IPOD was set on General Vintage Music….tunes from the 30's, 40's and 50's. I might add, there was NO response from the Nurse, good or bad….I could have been invisible in that room. I did try to converse with him, during my time with these Patients, but the most I got back from him was a grin…VERY disappointing and unfortunately, the norm! Now big deal, so what, doesn't matter
So back to my IPOD….I put the Headphones on him and asked if he could hear it ok….(they are locked so the volume can't go too high) and he smiled and said yes….so I sat down and watched. He put his hand under his chin and just listened….sometimes he smiled, as he remembered the tunes…then he started wiping his eyes…so I got up and gave him a tissue. I removed the Headphones and asked if he was enjoying the music and he said, "yes, I love music" and I asked if he wanted to continue to listen and he said, "yes". So I put them back on. Now remember, the Nurse is sitting 2 feet away and could care less that this patient was joyful and remembering. As I sat across from him, I saw him remove one foot from the wheelchair and start tapping it on the floor….it was 35 minutes of pure love and joy for this man. When I removed the headphones I gave him a huge hug and told him that was enough for one day and would he like to have more music again, to which he said, "yes, I love having music".
While Mr. A was listening, so was my Companion, but she was listening to her CD Player and to a CD I had made her of Harp Music as a Christmas Gift. I had one more IPOD and Miss H. was sitting off by herself so I asked her if she would like to listen. I just love this lady, she is sooooo happy all the time. She doesn't start a conversation but if you take the time to stop and talk to her she will joyfully respond…so she said, "well yes, I'll have some music"….headphones on and her playlist was Gospel Music. OH MY….she came alive…..tapping her foot, tapping her hand on the arm of the wheelchair and humming to the music. Again…Nurse sitting 2 feet away, totally ignoring what was happening in this room. I sat for 45 minutes watching and taking notes…..this was CLEARLY a moving experience for all of these patients. I can only imagine what their lives would be like if they had this everyday.
For all the joy I saw, I was saddened by the lack of interaction from the Nurse. There was another male patient in the room that can get cranky and loud. He was asking to go to his room and finally they came and took him….but I wanted to try the IPODS on him so I mentioned to the Nurse that I could do that first and he looked up and said, "it's time for his meds". Meds, the first line of intervention….not conversation, compassion or music…meds first and then if there is anything left of this man after he is drugged up, I can have him. Let me finish up by saying there ARE loving and compassionate people who work at our Assisted Living and Long-Term Nursing Care Facilities that DO try to make a difference when they can, however these caring people usually have their hands tied behind their backs by Corporate Regulations and lack of much needed funding that trickles down DIRECTLY to the Patient, I suppose that is why I keep pushing. Ugggggggg I'm off to try again today.
Yesterday was my first day using my 2 Donated IPODS (thank you thank you) for my Project at work, Music and Memory. Yesterday was one of 2 days a week that I am with my Companion so first things first….find her and check her condition and needs. I have grown to love this lady so much and her wonderful family is one to model after. My Companion, has someone everyday to advocate for her….a necessity when placed in a Facility, I don't care how new/old/cheap/expensive the Facility is, you MUST be there for your loved one.
So after snatching my Companion from the Dining Room (lol) I took her to the Day Room to be with other Patients and wanted her to also be a part of this experience. There was a Elder gentleman (I use the term ELDER out of respect for his age and what he has offered this world so far) in the room that I was not familiar with. In the room was also a Nurse who was Charting and one 2 other Patients, both of them I know well.
I approached the Elder, Mr. A, and asked if he liked music? He said, "yes, music" so I asked if he'd like to listen to some music and he smiled and said, "yes I like music." So the first IPOD was set on General Vintage Music….tunes from the 30's, 40's and 50's. I might add, there was NO response from the Nurse, good or bad….I could have been invisible in that room. I did try to converse with him, during my time with these Patients, but the most I got back from him was a grin…VERY disappointing and unfortunately, the norm! Now big deal, so what, doesn't matter
So back to my IPOD….I put the Headphones on him and asked if he could hear it ok….(they are locked so the volume can't go too high) and he smiled and said yes….so I sat down and watched. He put his hand under his chin and just listened….sometimes he smiled, as he remembered the tunes…then he started wiping his eyes…so I got up and gave him a tissue. I removed the Headphones and asked if he was enjoying the music and he said, "yes, I love music" and I asked if he wanted to continue to listen and he said, "yes". So I put them back on. Now remember, the Nurse is sitting 2 feet away and could care less that this patient was joyful and remembering. As I sat across from him, I saw him remove one foot from the wheelchair and start tapping it on the floor….it was 35 minutes of pure love and joy for this man. When I removed the headphones I gave him a huge hug and told him that was enough for one day and would he like to have more music again, to which he said, "yes, I love having music".
While Mr. A was listening, so was my Companion, but she was listening to her CD Player and to a CD I had made her of Harp Music as a Christmas Gift. I had one more IPOD and Miss H. was sitting off by herself so I asked her if she would like to listen. I just love this lady, she is sooooo happy all the time. She doesn't start a conversation but if you take the time to stop and talk to her she will joyfully respond…so she said, "well yes, I'll have some music"….headphones on and her playlist was Gospel Music. OH MY….she came alive…..tapping her foot, tapping her hand on the arm of the wheelchair and humming to the music. Again…Nurse sitting 2 feet away, totally ignoring what was happening in this room. I sat for 45 minutes watching and taking notes…..this was CLEARLY a moving experience for all of these patients. I can only imagine what their lives would be like if they had this everyday.
For all the joy I saw, I was saddened by the lack of interaction from the Nurse. There was another male patient in the room that can get cranky and loud. He was asking to go to his room and finally they came and took him….but I wanted to try the IPODS on him so I mentioned to the Nurse that I could do that first and he looked up and said, "it's time for his meds". Meds, the first line of intervention….not conversation, compassion or music…meds first and then if there is anything left of this man after he is drugged up, I can have him. Let me finish up by saying there ARE loving and compassionate people who work at our Assisted Living and Long-Term Nursing Care Facilities that DO try to make a difference when they can, however these caring people usually have their hands tied behind their backs by Corporate Regulations and lack of much needed funding that trickles down DIRECTLY to the Patient, I suppose that is why I keep pushing. Ugggggggg I'm off to try again today.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
It feels Good to Laugh
Thursday evening, June 26, 2014…beautiful breeze outside and smells like Summer
So I don't know if I can put into words, how I felt today while doing Therapeutic Music. I am so lucky to have patients of all kinds, long-term, hospice, young and old. Each patient I see is different and demands my focus on their personal needs. Sometimes at the end of the day I am so tired, mentally and emotionally tired. Of all the Patients I see, my real passion is on the Dementia and Alzheimer's Patients. I'm going to carry on a bit about how our Society is selfish and allows loved ones to be placed in these Facilities before it might be necessary. We don't want to give of ourselves or be inconvenienced to care for an elderly or sick family member. Granted, there are times when there is No other option, the physical demands of a very sick person can be too much for at-home care. But I am always blown away at the number of Patients I see that really would do fine with family…and most of them DO have family!!
So this population is isolated with very little "compassionate" care. Remember, these are Facilities with staff that come to work and leave it behind them. Perhaps I am so passionate for this generation because I was raised with my Grandparents living with us…they moved in when I was in 4th Grade and stayed until they died in their 80's. My Grandfather spend a few months in a Nursing Home and then was transferred to the VA Hospital where he passed away. My Parents cared for him as long as it was physically possible. My Grandma died in the Hospital after being very sick. Every face I see reminds me of my Parents and my Grandparents. They are someone's Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Grandma or Grandpa, a favorite Aunt or Uncle. The worst are those who have no living family….totally forgotten and left to the grow sicker and older for lack of love or an advocate on their behalf.
So now that I have depressed myself, once again…..there was a most joyous event today. While I was waiting outside my Patient's room, I walked back and forth in the Hallway and stopped at a doorway that was very dark and had 4 Patients in the room, all male patients. I was curious about this room so I went to the Nurse's Station and asked if these Patients would benefit from Harp Music. Immediately 2 of the Staff said YES….at least 2 of the Patients would love it, not sure about the other 2. So I was off….brought my Harp in and tried to adjust my eyes to the dim light. My Harp lights had dead batteries and there was a little light from the TV and doorway…not the easiest environment to play the Harp in!
I said hello and introduced myself. The first bed had a patient that was non-responsive, he is Patient A. The bed on my right had a Patient that had his sheet over his head he is Patient B, the Patient next to him was awake and staring at the ceiling he is Patient C and across from him was Patient D..he was also staring at the ceiling. No response from any of them. I started playing my Harp very softly, so not to startle them. I played unfamiliar music, improvising as I went along. I noticed Patient C was watching me play so I decided to play "God Bless America", something familiar. All of a sudden Patient C laughed so loud and so violently that it scared the hell out of me. I looked around and wondered if I had done the right thing, coming into this room. Perhaps I was having the opposite effect on them. He continued to laugh and then he said, "it is so beautiful" and started to cry. OK….I am in the right place.
Patient A did not wake up, Patient B still had his sheet over his head but I looked at Patient D and noticed he was waving his hand to the music. At times Patient C would laugh out loud, especially if he knew the Tune. Little by little I noticed he was singing and then Patient D started singing some of the words. Patient B had turned over and taken his sheet off his head and was watching me play……3 out of 4 ain't too shabby! Patient C called out, "I am laughing!" and "it feels good to laugh". I was so overwhelmed with joy for these men who were feeling love, compassion, memory recall and mostly joy all from the simple harp. They especially liked it when I sang to the tune. I am not a singer, but I love to sing anyway and they were just to tickled.
There is never a good way to say goodbye when I know I must leave. I had stayed in this room far longer than any other. I told them I would be back to see them and I was so happy they enjoyed the music. They just stared at me, like I had popped their balloon. As I was leaving down the hallway I heard Patient C singing like he was an Operatic Tenor….I got so tickled I went back into the room and told him to keep on singing till I came back.
It's so frustrating to know that there will be little else for these men until I can get back there to play for them again. Is it our selfish society or ignorance that doesn't want to see how we house the Elderly. The Baby Boomers will fill the Facilities within the next 10-12 years…we must make changes and advocate for compassionate and stimulating care for our loved ones. All the living and experiences these patients have to share is a wealth of joy for us…they are funny and still have so much to give if someone would just take the time to listen.
So our generation needs to think about the care that we will want in the near future….if we got involved could we advocate for more social interaction and personalized intervention….more music for ALL? When I put myself in one of those beds I start screaming NOOOOOOOOOOO don't leave me here and then I realize there are changes that can and must be made.
So I don't know if I can put into words, how I felt today while doing Therapeutic Music. I am so lucky to have patients of all kinds, long-term, hospice, young and old. Each patient I see is different and demands my focus on their personal needs. Sometimes at the end of the day I am so tired, mentally and emotionally tired. Of all the Patients I see, my real passion is on the Dementia and Alzheimer's Patients. I'm going to carry on a bit about how our Society is selfish and allows loved ones to be placed in these Facilities before it might be necessary. We don't want to give of ourselves or be inconvenienced to care for an elderly or sick family member. Granted, there are times when there is No other option, the physical demands of a very sick person can be too much for at-home care. But I am always blown away at the number of Patients I see that really would do fine with family…and most of them DO have family!!
So this population is isolated with very little "compassionate" care. Remember, these are Facilities with staff that come to work and leave it behind them. Perhaps I am so passionate for this generation because I was raised with my Grandparents living with us…they moved in when I was in 4th Grade and stayed until they died in their 80's. My Grandfather spend a few months in a Nursing Home and then was transferred to the VA Hospital where he passed away. My Parents cared for him as long as it was physically possible. My Grandma died in the Hospital after being very sick. Every face I see reminds me of my Parents and my Grandparents. They are someone's Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Grandma or Grandpa, a favorite Aunt or Uncle. The worst are those who have no living family….totally forgotten and left to the grow sicker and older for lack of love or an advocate on their behalf.
So now that I have depressed myself, once again…..there was a most joyous event today. While I was waiting outside my Patient's room, I walked back and forth in the Hallway and stopped at a doorway that was very dark and had 4 Patients in the room, all male patients. I was curious about this room so I went to the Nurse's Station and asked if these Patients would benefit from Harp Music. Immediately 2 of the Staff said YES….at least 2 of the Patients would love it, not sure about the other 2. So I was off….brought my Harp in and tried to adjust my eyes to the dim light. My Harp lights had dead batteries and there was a little light from the TV and doorway…not the easiest environment to play the Harp in!
I said hello and introduced myself. The first bed had a patient that was non-responsive, he is Patient A. The bed on my right had a Patient that had his sheet over his head he is Patient B, the Patient next to him was awake and staring at the ceiling he is Patient C and across from him was Patient D..he was also staring at the ceiling. No response from any of them. I started playing my Harp very softly, so not to startle them. I played unfamiliar music, improvising as I went along. I noticed Patient C was watching me play so I decided to play "God Bless America", something familiar. All of a sudden Patient C laughed so loud and so violently that it scared the hell out of me. I looked around and wondered if I had done the right thing, coming into this room. Perhaps I was having the opposite effect on them. He continued to laugh and then he said, "it is so beautiful" and started to cry. OK….I am in the right place.
Patient A did not wake up, Patient B still had his sheet over his head but I looked at Patient D and noticed he was waving his hand to the music. At times Patient C would laugh out loud, especially if he knew the Tune. Little by little I noticed he was singing and then Patient D started singing some of the words. Patient B had turned over and taken his sheet off his head and was watching me play……3 out of 4 ain't too shabby! Patient C called out, "I am laughing!" and "it feels good to laugh". I was so overwhelmed with joy for these men who were feeling love, compassion, memory recall and mostly joy all from the simple harp. They especially liked it when I sang to the tune. I am not a singer, but I love to sing anyway and they were just to tickled.
There is never a good way to say goodbye when I know I must leave. I had stayed in this room far longer than any other. I told them I would be back to see them and I was so happy they enjoyed the music. They just stared at me, like I had popped their balloon. As I was leaving down the hallway I heard Patient C singing like he was an Operatic Tenor….I got so tickled I went back into the room and told him to keep on singing till I came back.
It's so frustrating to know that there will be little else for these men until I can get back there to play for them again. Is it our selfish society or ignorance that doesn't want to see how we house the Elderly. The Baby Boomers will fill the Facilities within the next 10-12 years…we must make changes and advocate for compassionate and stimulating care for our loved ones. All the living and experiences these patients have to share is a wealth of joy for us…they are funny and still have so much to give if someone would just take the time to listen.
So our generation needs to think about the care that we will want in the near future….if we got involved could we advocate for more social interaction and personalized intervention….more music for ALL? When I put myself in one of those beds I start screaming NOOOOOOOOOOO don't leave me here and then I realize there are changes that can and must be made.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
My Candle is Burning
Wednesday, June 4, 2014….Summer-e out there! Muggy and hot and I love it!
Today one of Residents, who will turn 107 in the fall, was very quiet…sitting alone in her wheelchair, off by herself. Normally she is cruising up and down the halls chatting with everyone. I sat next other (she is VERY hard of hearing and asked how she was. She waited a minute and said, "I am very sad today, I learned that I am blind." I felt terrible for her and asked her if she had been to the Dr. and she said no. So I asked her, how did she know she was Blind and she started chuckling and said, "cause I can't see a thing!" OMG OMG OMG I selfishly want her to live forever.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014…another hot and muggy day…yea!
Yesterday I was told when I arrived at work that my Led Zeppelin loving Patient, "J" was transitioning. No surprise but I am never ready. When I get complacent about Death, then I am in the wrong place, personally and I am not doing my work properly. The Patient's Brother came to me and introduced himself and thanked me, on behalf of the Family for spending so much time with him and in particular, playing "Stairway to Heaven" for him last week. As the word spread, many Residents needed lost of hugs and conversation. One Resident told me he had just shook his hand earlier and patted his shoulder. I reminded him that it was time well spent and I am sure it made a difference to him. He just smiled at me…..still so hard to accept.
When I got home I played my Singing Bowl, lit my candle for him and meditated for a while. Poor Tad, when he comes home and asks, "how was your day", I always bombard him with events good and bad, and he always listens. He is my rock, my humor, my "back to normal".
This morning as I was drinking my coffee, I received an email from another Facility where my peeps are….Mr. A passed away early this morning. I almost typed, "he was my favorite" but I really love them all and it's difficult to let any of them go.
On a happier note, my Companion has been doing wonderfully all week and very responsive to Music. Lots of smiles and foot tapping. She is my ray of sunshine when I start to feel down…what she endures each hour is hard to imagine. So my Candle is burning for Mr. A...
Today one of Residents, who will turn 107 in the fall, was very quiet…sitting alone in her wheelchair, off by herself. Normally she is cruising up and down the halls chatting with everyone. I sat next other (she is VERY hard of hearing and asked how she was. She waited a minute and said, "I am very sad today, I learned that I am blind." I felt terrible for her and asked her if she had been to the Dr. and she said no. So I asked her, how did she know she was Blind and she started chuckling and said, "cause I can't see a thing!" OMG OMG OMG I selfishly want her to live forever.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014…another hot and muggy day…yea!
Yesterday I was told when I arrived at work that my Led Zeppelin loving Patient, "J" was transitioning. No surprise but I am never ready. When I get complacent about Death, then I am in the wrong place, personally and I am not doing my work properly. The Patient's Brother came to me and introduced himself and thanked me, on behalf of the Family for spending so much time with him and in particular, playing "Stairway to Heaven" for him last week. As the word spread, many Residents needed lost of hugs and conversation. One Resident told me he had just shook his hand earlier and patted his shoulder. I reminded him that it was time well spent and I am sure it made a difference to him. He just smiled at me…..still so hard to accept.
When I got home I played my Singing Bowl, lit my candle for him and meditated for a while. Poor Tad, when he comes home and asks, "how was your day", I always bombard him with events good and bad, and he always listens. He is my rock, my humor, my "back to normal".
This morning as I was drinking my coffee, I received an email from another Facility where my peeps are….Mr. A passed away early this morning. I almost typed, "he was my favorite" but I really love them all and it's difficult to let any of them go.
On a happier note, my Companion has been doing wonderfully all week and very responsive to Music. Lots of smiles and foot tapping. She is my ray of sunshine when I start to feel down…what she endures each hour is hard to imagine. So my Candle is burning for Mr. A...
Friday, May 30, 2014
Musical Choices
Friday, May 30, 2014….I think Winter is trying to make a come-back? Rainy and very Cool….I refuse to complain!
Yesterday I got an email from my Supervisor of the Facility, telling me one of my Hospice Patients, a young man, loves Led Zeppelin and any other Classic Rock Band…I quickly downloaded "Stairway to Heaven" and then gave my choice some thought….should I play it because the title is suggestive, especially in his position? So I decided to play a few Beatles, Dylan and so on and he loved it….I told him I only had one Zeppelin song, gave him the title and he looked at me (he is unable to speak) and shook his head yes with a big tear down his cheek. I can tell you, I almost could not play and as I write this to you I feel that emotion coming to the surface again.
I pretty much botched up the tune because I hadn't practiced it, but it was simple enough to play the theme and get through it. I finished his Session with "I will Always Love You" Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston, which I always play for him before I leave and pointed to my heart and he just looked at me and shook his head again. Wow, what an afternoon.
Yesterday was one of those days when I needed to take extra care of my Spirit. When I got home I used my Singing Bowl and did a long Meditation. It makes such a difference when I stop and restore myself…if not my Intention during a Session is weak and purposeless.
Yesterday I got an email from my Supervisor of the Facility, telling me one of my Hospice Patients, a young man, loves Led Zeppelin and any other Classic Rock Band…I quickly downloaded "Stairway to Heaven" and then gave my choice some thought….should I play it because the title is suggestive, especially in his position? So I decided to play a few Beatles, Dylan and so on and he loved it….I told him I only had one Zeppelin song, gave him the title and he looked at me (he is unable to speak) and shook his head yes with a big tear down his cheek. I can tell you, I almost could not play and as I write this to you I feel that emotion coming to the surface again.
I pretty much botched up the tune because I hadn't practiced it, but it was simple enough to play the theme and get through it. I finished his Session with "I will Always Love You" Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston, which I always play for him before I leave and pointed to my heart and he just looked at me and shook his head again. Wow, what an afternoon.
Yesterday was one of those days when I needed to take extra care of my Spirit. When I got home I used my Singing Bowl and did a long Meditation. It makes such a difference when I stop and restore myself…if not my Intention during a Session is weak and purposeless.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Alive Inside
Wednesday morning…May 28, 2014……cloudy, humid and showers on the way….a perfect summer morning :)
I received an email yesterday morning from the Daughter of my Companion, telling me her Mom had been pretty un-responsive for days. I had not seen her for a week, due to the Holiday Weekend. When I arrived she was very unresponsive and I was determined to "wake up her brain" as well as her Spirit. After 40 minutes of Harp Music…..I finally got a response and after a walk outside, I took her to the Dining Room and played piano for her. As I am playing I hear her stomping her foot on the wheelchair. she is trying to get my attention. I look over and she is Conducting my Music!!! the physical movement of her raising her arm and moving it is something no one has seen her do in months. So here I am taking a video with one hand and trying to play piano with my left….I was able to share the video with her family. I think the other amazing thing is she responded to my instructions. When I stopped playing to dig out my phone to record, she lowered her arm, but as I played again I told her to Conduct my Music….and she did!!!!! She is "Alive Inside"
I received an email yesterday morning from the Daughter of my Companion, telling me her Mom had been pretty un-responsive for days. I had not seen her for a week, due to the Holiday Weekend. When I arrived she was very unresponsive and I was determined to "wake up her brain" as well as her Spirit. After 40 minutes of Harp Music…..I finally got a response and after a walk outside, I took her to the Dining Room and played piano for her. As I am playing I hear her stomping her foot on the wheelchair. she is trying to get my attention. I look over and she is Conducting my Music!!! the physical movement of her raising her arm and moving it is something no one has seen her do in months. So here I am taking a video with one hand and trying to play piano with my left….I was able to share the video with her family. I think the other amazing thing is she responded to my instructions. When I stopped playing to dig out my phone to record, she lowered her arm, but as I played again I told her to Conduct my Music….and she did!!!!! She is "Alive Inside"
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Wednesday :)
Wednesday, May 21st….yep, warm, cloudy and maybe a storm!
Today I played at a Facility that I am so compassionate about. I love all the Staff and I am thrilled they understand the profound benefits that their Patients receive through Therapeutic Music. Also, I feel their Patients are more in need of the Service. Most are wards of the State and few have family or friends visiting. They are long-term nursing patients, palliative care and hospice.
Today I experienced a chance meeting with a Music Therapist while I was playing for "his" patient. He works for Hospice and comes to see this Patient as a MT, which is a Bachelor's Degree and very "hands-on" Therapy. Mine is not a Degree, but a Certification and we do not physically interact with a Patient, we are Therapeutic Musicians or Clinical Musicians and we are non-obtrusive in the sense that we let the Music and our "intention" have the impact on the Patient. Although very different, we are very much the same. Our goals are to be part of a tool-box of healing modes. Therapeutic Music is not a cure, it is part of the mind-body-spirit healing that can take place. I was so thrilled to have the time to chat with the MT, he could not have been nicer and more professional. He was so happy to know that "his" patient received services when he could not be with her.
He noticed she was very engaged with the music and commented on how "familiar" music seemed to catch her right away. He does a lot of improv on the guitar, but suggested he may start his sessions with more familiar music and then transition to improv.
I went to see Mr. A next and one of the Office Staff caught up with me and wanted to see the response….she got a real treat! Mr. A was in the fetal position at the foot of his bed, unresponsive. I played a couple tunes and nothing…..then I moved over to hymns, ones I know he loves. He laid there singing with his eyes closed. I wanted to cry…..another "hazard" in my job. I told him he could sing better if he sat up, so slowly he managed to get into a sitting position on the side of the bed. Did I mention this man can sing? He has the most beautiful voice. The Staff member sang several tunes with him….both of us very emotional. THIS is why I love this facility…..the staff are the soul of the place, not the brick and mortar.
Mr. A's roommate was in a wheelchair, unresponsive…..until I played "Over the Rainbow"….he opens his eyes and watches me play…..again, very emotional.
From there I moved to the Day Room where there were 8 Patients waiting for lunch. I love this group of Patients so much. One does not communicate, except when I am there. She sings "Amazing Grace" with the most beautiful voice….today one of the aides said, "what? I didn't know she could even talk!" Yep, Amazing Grace! There is another patient that loves Elvis so when I play "Love Me Tender" she is just in tears and then smiles. There is a young girl that emotionally grabs me every time. She used to be very shy around me but now she just lights up when she sees the Harp. She spends 10 minutes getting her wheelchair as close to me as possible. I don't think she would ever want to touch the Harp but she loves to watch me play. She always has a beautiful smile on her face when I ask her to sing along. She rarely speaks, but sometimes she will act shyly and say "no" to singing…LOL
I would love nothing more than to stay all day and make music for them and the Staff, but my fingers give out and usually my stomach is screaming for food!!!
Tomorrow (Thursday) I am at another Facility and I know joy awaits me. My life is so full and rich and I am so grateful for each day I can give this Service. I think the only thing missing is food….I think they should provide Lunch!!!
Today I played at a Facility that I am so compassionate about. I love all the Staff and I am thrilled they understand the profound benefits that their Patients receive through Therapeutic Music. Also, I feel their Patients are more in need of the Service. Most are wards of the State and few have family or friends visiting. They are long-term nursing patients, palliative care and hospice.
Today I experienced a chance meeting with a Music Therapist while I was playing for "his" patient. He works for Hospice and comes to see this Patient as a MT, which is a Bachelor's Degree and very "hands-on" Therapy. Mine is not a Degree, but a Certification and we do not physically interact with a Patient, we are Therapeutic Musicians or Clinical Musicians and we are non-obtrusive in the sense that we let the Music and our "intention" have the impact on the Patient. Although very different, we are very much the same. Our goals are to be part of a tool-box of healing modes. Therapeutic Music is not a cure, it is part of the mind-body-spirit healing that can take place. I was so thrilled to have the time to chat with the MT, he could not have been nicer and more professional. He was so happy to know that "his" patient received services when he could not be with her.
He noticed she was very engaged with the music and commented on how "familiar" music seemed to catch her right away. He does a lot of improv on the guitar, but suggested he may start his sessions with more familiar music and then transition to improv.
I went to see Mr. A next and one of the Office Staff caught up with me and wanted to see the response….she got a real treat! Mr. A was in the fetal position at the foot of his bed, unresponsive. I played a couple tunes and nothing…..then I moved over to hymns, ones I know he loves. He laid there singing with his eyes closed. I wanted to cry…..another "hazard" in my job. I told him he could sing better if he sat up, so slowly he managed to get into a sitting position on the side of the bed. Did I mention this man can sing? He has the most beautiful voice. The Staff member sang several tunes with him….both of us very emotional. THIS is why I love this facility…..the staff are the soul of the place, not the brick and mortar.
Mr. A's roommate was in a wheelchair, unresponsive…..until I played "Over the Rainbow"….he opens his eyes and watches me play…..again, very emotional.
From there I moved to the Day Room where there were 8 Patients waiting for lunch. I love this group of Patients so much. One does not communicate, except when I am there. She sings "Amazing Grace" with the most beautiful voice….today one of the aides said, "what? I didn't know she could even talk!" Yep, Amazing Grace! There is another patient that loves Elvis so when I play "Love Me Tender" she is just in tears and then smiles. There is a young girl that emotionally grabs me every time. She used to be very shy around me but now she just lights up when she sees the Harp. She spends 10 minutes getting her wheelchair as close to me as possible. I don't think she would ever want to touch the Harp but she loves to watch me play. She always has a beautiful smile on her face when I ask her to sing along. She rarely speaks, but sometimes she will act shyly and say "no" to singing…LOL
I would love nothing more than to stay all day and make music for them and the Staff, but my fingers give out and usually my stomach is screaming for food!!!
Tomorrow (Thursday) I am at another Facility and I know joy awaits me. My life is so full and rich and I am so grateful for each day I can give this Service. I think the only thing missing is food….I think they should provide Lunch!!!
Monday/Tuesday
Wednesday afternoon, May 21, 2014….warm, cloudy and maybe some storms :)
I'm sitting here this afternoon, reflecting on my last few Sessions with my Patients. They are always so thought-provoking and emotional as well.
When I arrived to be with my Companion this week, she was non-responsive. Very unlike her, especially when I play the Harp. It seemed nothing could reach her. I took her outside for a long walk, normally we talk about what the date is, what day of the week, the weather (she is blind and does not communicate )….but today…nothing. I took her back to her room and played more Harp and I was playing "You are My Sunshine" and I see her foot start to move. I look up and she is grinning like crazy. That was the ticket….who knew? the rest of the afternoon she was completely engaged with me and with music. Yesterday was even better. While I was chatting with her roommate, I noticed she was moving her leg and her arm like I have not seen in months. I was so surprised that I took a Video for her Daughters to see, they both agreed they had not seen that amount of movement in months. You never know what will reach a person's spirit and memories. I am constantly and pleasantly surprised.
On this same day, the Facility was in "lockdown" due to the Flu on another Unit. That means that all residents must stay in their Unit, all activities are canceled and meals are served in the rooms only. I consider this one of the "hazards" of working in facilities…..no matter how well you take care of yourself, you are exposed to so much. At the Nurse's Station I could hear one of the Residents yelling and cursing. I know this Resident pretty well and rarely see him agitated this way. I came out and told the Nurse I would get my harp in a bit and come play at the station….she laughed and said, "how about NOW?" So I did, brought my Companion with me and we sat at the Station and the VERY first tune…he closed his eyes and started waving his arms around like an Orchestra Conductor….and if anyone spoke he said, "shhhhhh, she is playing music". I stayed for about 30 minutes and he continued to be calm and restful. The Staff is so appreciative, it makes a huge difference in their attitude and approach to the Patients. Later in the afternoon I saw him again and I asked him if he enjoyed the Harp Music. He was just as calm and peaceful and said, "yes, very much" That was my Monday and Tuesday…..Wednesday (today) comes in another Blog!
I'm sitting here this afternoon, reflecting on my last few Sessions with my Patients. They are always so thought-provoking and emotional as well.
When I arrived to be with my Companion this week, she was non-responsive. Very unlike her, especially when I play the Harp. It seemed nothing could reach her. I took her outside for a long walk, normally we talk about what the date is, what day of the week, the weather (she is blind and does not communicate )….but today…nothing. I took her back to her room and played more Harp and I was playing "You are My Sunshine" and I see her foot start to move. I look up and she is grinning like crazy. That was the ticket….who knew? the rest of the afternoon she was completely engaged with me and with music. Yesterday was even better. While I was chatting with her roommate, I noticed she was moving her leg and her arm like I have not seen in months. I was so surprised that I took a Video for her Daughters to see, they both agreed they had not seen that amount of movement in months. You never know what will reach a person's spirit and memories. I am constantly and pleasantly surprised.
On this same day, the Facility was in "lockdown" due to the Flu on another Unit. That means that all residents must stay in their Unit, all activities are canceled and meals are served in the rooms only. I consider this one of the "hazards" of working in facilities…..no matter how well you take care of yourself, you are exposed to so much. At the Nurse's Station I could hear one of the Residents yelling and cursing. I know this Resident pretty well and rarely see him agitated this way. I came out and told the Nurse I would get my harp in a bit and come play at the station….she laughed and said, "how about NOW?" So I did, brought my Companion with me and we sat at the Station and the VERY first tune…he closed his eyes and started waving his arms around like an Orchestra Conductor….and if anyone spoke he said, "shhhhhh, she is playing music". I stayed for about 30 minutes and he continued to be calm and restful. The Staff is so appreciative, it makes a huge difference in their attitude and approach to the Patients. Later in the afternoon I saw him again and I asked him if he enjoyed the Harp Music. He was just as calm and peaceful and said, "yes, very much" That was my Monday and Tuesday…..Wednesday (today) comes in another Blog!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Balance of Emotions
Thursday Evening, May 15, 2014….cloudy, windy and a storm's a coming!!!!
Today I had a beautiful experience with a Patient. It's a young man, in his 20s who was born with a terrible disability and can not communicate with words. He does, however let you know what he's interested in by facial expressions and hand gestures. He has recently been placed in Hospice Care.
The first time I played my harp for him about halfway through my playing he motioned for me to turn on his TV….he was done with me. The next time I just turned down the TV instead of turning it off and that seemed ok, but he kept turning his head away from me, clearly he did not like having me there.
Over these last several weeks, I have not approached him in his room. He is sometimes out at the Nurses Station and I will just stop and talk to him and make no mention of music or my harp. I have felt a sense of trust by doing this and today I entered his room and asked if he wanted me to play my Harp. He just stared at me, no expression. Then he slowly lifted his hand and made a motion to turn off the TV with his remote…..which I couldn't find anywhere. After asking the Nurse for help, he was given his remote and he turned off his TV.
I decided to tell him the names of the Tunes before I played them. I did a couple of things and then I asked if he liked Bob Dylan….he moved his eyes..that was a yes. I played Blowin in the Wind and sang the chorus while I played. I glanced at him and he had a tear on his cheek. Ok….I almost lost it at that moment. I did some Beatles, "In My Life" and I did "Sound of Silence". I finished up with "I will Always Love You" and when I was done I looked at him and told him the name of the song and that I would always love him, my friend. Another tear but this time I could not hold it back. I just let it happen and told him I would be back to play for him again soon.
This was incredibly sad today, but at the same time I feel I made a friend and he had loved having music today. So hard to balance my emotions.
Today I had a beautiful experience with a Patient. It's a young man, in his 20s who was born with a terrible disability and can not communicate with words. He does, however let you know what he's interested in by facial expressions and hand gestures. He has recently been placed in Hospice Care.
The first time I played my harp for him about halfway through my playing he motioned for me to turn on his TV….he was done with me. The next time I just turned down the TV instead of turning it off and that seemed ok, but he kept turning his head away from me, clearly he did not like having me there.
Over these last several weeks, I have not approached him in his room. He is sometimes out at the Nurses Station and I will just stop and talk to him and make no mention of music or my harp. I have felt a sense of trust by doing this and today I entered his room and asked if he wanted me to play my Harp. He just stared at me, no expression. Then he slowly lifted his hand and made a motion to turn off the TV with his remote…..which I couldn't find anywhere. After asking the Nurse for help, he was given his remote and he turned off his TV.
I decided to tell him the names of the Tunes before I played them. I did a couple of things and then I asked if he liked Bob Dylan….he moved his eyes..that was a yes. I played Blowin in the Wind and sang the chorus while I played. I glanced at him and he had a tear on his cheek. Ok….I almost lost it at that moment. I did some Beatles, "In My Life" and I did "Sound of Silence". I finished up with "I will Always Love You" and when I was done I looked at him and told him the name of the song and that I would always love him, my friend. Another tear but this time I could not hold it back. I just let it happen and told him I would be back to play for him again soon.
This was incredibly sad today, but at the same time I feel I made a friend and he had loved having music today. So hard to balance my emotions.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Now We are all Happier :)
Wednesday, May 7, 2014…..a Beautiful morning, a little chilly with some sun but I think rain is on its way….you know what they say, "April showers bring May flowers"….oh, it's not April you say? :)
It's been too long since I have written in my Blog. No good excuses besides being so busy and that is a good thing. There are changes coming my way and I am excited to have the opportunity to work at a new facility that is opening this month. I have been employed by them, but on a very limited budget. This new Facility allows a larger budget and that will directly effect me and gives me the opportunity to work an additional day each week….Yipeeeee
As far as making my Passion profitable (we gotta eat) it is slowing coming together. Between my Mentoring Job through my Course, employment from 3 Facilities and 2 Private Clients, my income trickles in, but I am thrilled with my progress. I will always look forward to the day I don't have to worry about an Income and can give of my time freely to reach as many patients as possible, but that day is not here yet.
Last week I saw Patients at a Facility that I had been away from for 3 weeks. That is a very long time not to see my Patients and I was so excited to arrive. I got an updated list and realized one of my Patients had passed away. At first it takes the wind from my sails but after being with the first Patient of the day, I am sailing along once again.
As I got on the floor, I immediately heard my dear "Ms D"…screaming for help. As I got closer to her room I passed the Nurse who said, "oh good, hope you can help"! I didn't even dare to knock on her door to ask if she wanted music, I knew it would be a loud NO. So I set up outside her room and started to play very softly. Just enough volume to be heard over her rants. The Staff is so respectful to her and they eventually went back into the room and told her to listen to the beautiful music that I was playing for her…..she screams, "tell her to shut up and stop playing, I need help here". There are a handful of Tunes that I know work well for her so I started through that set with "Believe me of all those Endearing Young Charms". I love this simple, sweet piece and as I played the screaming became less and less. 15 minutes later there were no sounds from her room. As the staff walks by they give me a "thumbs up" sign and smile…. later in the day I came back through her floor and she was sitting quietly in her room. I stuck my head in and asked if she enjoyed the Harp Music and she smiled and said, "yes, it was beautiful, when do you come back". Aww, to be trapped in that mind must be so terrifying, I am so grateful I was able to give her a little peace.
As the day went on, I realized I would have to try harder to get to these Patients more often. Each Patient I played for was so responsive to the music and relaxed and joyful in their own way. My sweet "Ms. E" clapped after each tune, just smiling away. Every now and then she would sing along, which is difficult when you are lying down! I left feedback saying that "Ms E" needed to be up and in a chair for Therapeutic Music, let's hope they follow through. It makes my job so much more effective and pleasant when the Staff value what I do and see my feedback as constructive and not combative. I am so grateful for the support I get.
I made my way to my favorite patient, "Mr. A"….he is Hospice Care and 3 weeks ago he was not doing well at all, so I tried to prepare myself for his further decline. Well, to my surprise, there he was sitting on the side of his bed and gave me a huge smile and said, "darling, I have missed you, where have you been?" Awwwww, the human body amazes me…..he had done a little rebound, awesome! His 2 Roommates, "Mr. L" and "Mr. J" were non responsive when I approached them. After I played a couple tunes I went to "Mr. J" and asked if he liked music…..this time he opened his eyes and said, "oh yes, it's very beautiful, thank you". The music had reached his soul and stirred his memories. An Aide came in to feed the 2 roommates and she was just so filled with joy to see "Mr J" awake and interested in eating. While "Mr. L" was waiting to be fed, he reached for his spoon and started to feed himself….the Aide said, "that's the first time I have seen him try to feed himself". These are small miracles that I am so grateful for and sustain me until the next visit. The nicest thing that happened at the end of that day was "Mr. A" said as I was leaving, "thank you darling and I love you". I told him I loved him too and I would see him soon.
Nothing could have prepared me for this journey I am on. I don't take a minute of good health for granted and have such admiration for families that are there with these patients, day in and day out. Such respect for the Staff. I was taking a 5 minute break for the fingers, sitting by a window. One of the Cleaning Staff stopped and said, "I am so glad you came today, "Ms D" stopped screaming and now we are all happier".
It's been too long since I have written in my Blog. No good excuses besides being so busy and that is a good thing. There are changes coming my way and I am excited to have the opportunity to work at a new facility that is opening this month. I have been employed by them, but on a very limited budget. This new Facility allows a larger budget and that will directly effect me and gives me the opportunity to work an additional day each week….Yipeeeee
As far as making my Passion profitable (we gotta eat) it is slowing coming together. Between my Mentoring Job through my Course, employment from 3 Facilities and 2 Private Clients, my income trickles in, but I am thrilled with my progress. I will always look forward to the day I don't have to worry about an Income and can give of my time freely to reach as many patients as possible, but that day is not here yet.
Last week I saw Patients at a Facility that I had been away from for 3 weeks. That is a very long time not to see my Patients and I was so excited to arrive. I got an updated list and realized one of my Patients had passed away. At first it takes the wind from my sails but after being with the first Patient of the day, I am sailing along once again.
As I got on the floor, I immediately heard my dear "Ms D"…screaming for help. As I got closer to her room I passed the Nurse who said, "oh good, hope you can help"! I didn't even dare to knock on her door to ask if she wanted music, I knew it would be a loud NO. So I set up outside her room and started to play very softly. Just enough volume to be heard over her rants. The Staff is so respectful to her and they eventually went back into the room and told her to listen to the beautiful music that I was playing for her…..she screams, "tell her to shut up and stop playing, I need help here". There are a handful of Tunes that I know work well for her so I started through that set with "Believe me of all those Endearing Young Charms". I love this simple, sweet piece and as I played the screaming became less and less. 15 minutes later there were no sounds from her room. As the staff walks by they give me a "thumbs up" sign and smile…. later in the day I came back through her floor and she was sitting quietly in her room. I stuck my head in and asked if she enjoyed the Harp Music and she smiled and said, "yes, it was beautiful, when do you come back". Aww, to be trapped in that mind must be so terrifying, I am so grateful I was able to give her a little peace.
As the day went on, I realized I would have to try harder to get to these Patients more often. Each Patient I played for was so responsive to the music and relaxed and joyful in their own way. My sweet "Ms. E" clapped after each tune, just smiling away. Every now and then she would sing along, which is difficult when you are lying down! I left feedback saying that "Ms E" needed to be up and in a chair for Therapeutic Music, let's hope they follow through. It makes my job so much more effective and pleasant when the Staff value what I do and see my feedback as constructive and not combative. I am so grateful for the support I get.
I made my way to my favorite patient, "Mr. A"….he is Hospice Care and 3 weeks ago he was not doing well at all, so I tried to prepare myself for his further decline. Well, to my surprise, there he was sitting on the side of his bed and gave me a huge smile and said, "darling, I have missed you, where have you been?" Awwwww, the human body amazes me…..he had done a little rebound, awesome! His 2 Roommates, "Mr. L" and "Mr. J" were non responsive when I approached them. After I played a couple tunes I went to "Mr. J" and asked if he liked music…..this time he opened his eyes and said, "oh yes, it's very beautiful, thank you". The music had reached his soul and stirred his memories. An Aide came in to feed the 2 roommates and she was just so filled with joy to see "Mr J" awake and interested in eating. While "Mr. L" was waiting to be fed, he reached for his spoon and started to feed himself….the Aide said, "that's the first time I have seen him try to feed himself". These are small miracles that I am so grateful for and sustain me until the next visit. The nicest thing that happened at the end of that day was "Mr. A" said as I was leaving, "thank you darling and I love you". I told him I loved him too and I would see him soon.
Nothing could have prepared me for this journey I am on. I don't take a minute of good health for granted and have such admiration for families that are there with these patients, day in and day out. Such respect for the Staff. I was taking a 5 minute break for the fingers, sitting by a window. One of the Cleaning Staff stopped and said, "I am so glad you came today, "Ms D" stopped screaming and now we are all happier".
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
One of my Favorite Places
Sunday Morning, March 23, 2014……cloudy but MILD!!! whoohooo spring is in the air, well actually they are calling for snow on Tuesday, but our cup is 1/2 full
Today is Tuesday, March 25th and I will finish this posting, lol
Friday was a very emotional day for me, in a good way. Each Facility I work at has it's special Patients that grab me, some more than others. I will say, this Facility I worked at yesterday always welcomes me with such heart-felt gratitude and joy. I could never have a bad day there. Not only will the Front Office Staff jump for joy when I carry my Harp in, but the Director will come out of the office and tell me how happy she is to have Therapeutic Music for "her" patients. This enthusiasm trickles down to the Kitchen Employees and the Maintenance Staff. So, I actually start my work there on such an upbeat. (pun intended)
I was in another Facility earlier in the week and a man stopped me in the hallway and asked if I played my Harp at a particular facility….I told him yes and he just grinned, and told me he was a patient there and he remembered me playing in the Therapy Room for a small group of Patients receiving Therapy. He said he was now in this new Facility receiving Therapy so I promised I would stop by his room and play for him next week…..such a small world. As I traveled down the hallway a Doctor came up to me and said, "I saw you yesterday at another Facility, so happy you share your Music".
I was waiting for my first Patient to receive her Meds so I walked to the end of the hallway and looked in on a Patient I was unfamiliar with. She was elderly, on oxygen and propped up in bed with the TV on. I set up my Harp outside her room to see if I would get any reaction. As I played, I saw only facial expressions change but this is enough to let me know she is hearing me and interested. I took my Harp into her room and set up next to her bed. She listened and after a few minutes tried to raise her head enough to look at me. When she did, she smiled and sank back down into her bed. I was so touched by this incredible effort to make contact with me. I requested she be added to my Patient List.
I made my way back to my first patient and she was in bed. I have played for her several times and the best reaction I have ever had with her was when she was sitting up in a wheelchair. She was alert and engaged. Her roommate was also still in bed so perhaps they were short-staffed and late getting everyone up, it happens. The roommate is an interesting patient, she had a stroke that damaged the language area of the brain. She talks with great inflection in her voice, but can only utter the sound "da". She understands everything and appears to be very intelligent. She loves music and loves her roommate and tries to take care of her. I asked my patient if she wanted to sing with me and she smiled and said, "alright". As I chose my tunes to fit the needs of my patient, I decided to start with a couple Hymns. A minute or two later my Patient was singing with me and she continued to sing most of the tunes for the next 30 minutes. Each time we would finish a tune, her roommate would clap and in her own way, express "good job"! "daaaaaaa da" I love these 2 ladies. If the roommate like the tune a lot, she will say "daaaaaaaaaa" with a sigh.
On to my next area of Patients. I found 3 of them together in the Day Room, along with 4 other Patients. I decided to set up in the room and play for the group. There is a Patient that rarely speaks. Some of the Staff has never heard her. But I was told she sings "Amazing Grace" with her Daddy when he comes for a visit. I have heard her speak her name and I have heard her sing a few words. It's exhilarating. There was an employee from upper management in the room, I believe covering for the Activities Director who was on vacation. So as I played my harp, this patient that never speaks started to sing. The Staff member was so overjoyed, she pulled up a chair and we sang as I played and the patient sang. She has a surprisingly good voice, very soft and velvet like. The other Staff would step into the room and just stand there listening and smiling.
About 30 minutes later one of the Aides brings in a Patient that I just adore. This is a Patient that visually you must look past her crippled body and distorted features. She is not easy to look at, but has a heart as big as the oceans and although she can not sing words, she makes sounds to the tunes and just grins from ear to ear. I told her I was so happy she came into the room because she always makes my day brighter…….she gave me the most beautiful smile. Again, the Staff Member was floored that this Patient was so engaged with me and the music.
I spent 45 minutes in the Day Room with my Patients and while I played, 2 Doctors came in and just listened and smiled and hummed a little. The Nursing Staff are lighter on their feet, speak softly and hum a tune while they go about their jobs….taking care of these sometimes, "lost souls". Many of the Patients at this Facility have no family are are wards of the State. It's heartbreaking that they will spend what's left of their lives in this Facility. The fact that I can make music that helps them recall happy memories, diverts their pain and discomfort, give compassion and hope to their day, if only for a few minutes, makes my job so rewarding.
I will say this a million times in my lifetime, "I wish I could be there 24/7 for all my Patients", as it is very difficult to walk away. But I also know my limits on my body and also my spirit. I have learned to take care of myself so that I can continue this work. Each day is filled with emotions that help me understand myself better and help me grow to find the important things in my life and not loose sight of my many blessings.
Today is Tuesday, March 25th and I will finish this posting, lol
Friday was a very emotional day for me, in a good way. Each Facility I work at has it's special Patients that grab me, some more than others. I will say, this Facility I worked at yesterday always welcomes me with such heart-felt gratitude and joy. I could never have a bad day there. Not only will the Front Office Staff jump for joy when I carry my Harp in, but the Director will come out of the office and tell me how happy she is to have Therapeutic Music for "her" patients. This enthusiasm trickles down to the Kitchen Employees and the Maintenance Staff. So, I actually start my work there on such an upbeat. (pun intended)
I was in another Facility earlier in the week and a man stopped me in the hallway and asked if I played my Harp at a particular facility….I told him yes and he just grinned, and told me he was a patient there and he remembered me playing in the Therapy Room for a small group of Patients receiving Therapy. He said he was now in this new Facility receiving Therapy so I promised I would stop by his room and play for him next week…..such a small world. As I traveled down the hallway a Doctor came up to me and said, "I saw you yesterday at another Facility, so happy you share your Music".
I was waiting for my first Patient to receive her Meds so I walked to the end of the hallway and looked in on a Patient I was unfamiliar with. She was elderly, on oxygen and propped up in bed with the TV on. I set up my Harp outside her room to see if I would get any reaction. As I played, I saw only facial expressions change but this is enough to let me know she is hearing me and interested. I took my Harp into her room and set up next to her bed. She listened and after a few minutes tried to raise her head enough to look at me. When she did, she smiled and sank back down into her bed. I was so touched by this incredible effort to make contact with me. I requested she be added to my Patient List.
I made my way back to my first patient and she was in bed. I have played for her several times and the best reaction I have ever had with her was when she was sitting up in a wheelchair. She was alert and engaged. Her roommate was also still in bed so perhaps they were short-staffed and late getting everyone up, it happens. The roommate is an interesting patient, she had a stroke that damaged the language area of the brain. She talks with great inflection in her voice, but can only utter the sound "da". She understands everything and appears to be very intelligent. She loves music and loves her roommate and tries to take care of her. I asked my patient if she wanted to sing with me and she smiled and said, "alright". As I chose my tunes to fit the needs of my patient, I decided to start with a couple Hymns. A minute or two later my Patient was singing with me and she continued to sing most of the tunes for the next 30 minutes. Each time we would finish a tune, her roommate would clap and in her own way, express "good job"! "daaaaaaa da" I love these 2 ladies. If the roommate like the tune a lot, she will say "daaaaaaaaaa" with a sigh.
On to my next area of Patients. I found 3 of them together in the Day Room, along with 4 other Patients. I decided to set up in the room and play for the group. There is a Patient that rarely speaks. Some of the Staff has never heard her. But I was told she sings "Amazing Grace" with her Daddy when he comes for a visit. I have heard her speak her name and I have heard her sing a few words. It's exhilarating. There was an employee from upper management in the room, I believe covering for the Activities Director who was on vacation. So as I played my harp, this patient that never speaks started to sing. The Staff member was so overjoyed, she pulled up a chair and we sang as I played and the patient sang. She has a surprisingly good voice, very soft and velvet like. The other Staff would step into the room and just stand there listening and smiling.
About 30 minutes later one of the Aides brings in a Patient that I just adore. This is a Patient that visually you must look past her crippled body and distorted features. She is not easy to look at, but has a heart as big as the oceans and although she can not sing words, she makes sounds to the tunes and just grins from ear to ear. I told her I was so happy she came into the room because she always makes my day brighter…….she gave me the most beautiful smile. Again, the Staff Member was floored that this Patient was so engaged with me and the music.
I spent 45 minutes in the Day Room with my Patients and while I played, 2 Doctors came in and just listened and smiled and hummed a little. The Nursing Staff are lighter on their feet, speak softly and hum a tune while they go about their jobs….taking care of these sometimes, "lost souls". Many of the Patients at this Facility have no family are are wards of the State. It's heartbreaking that they will spend what's left of their lives in this Facility. The fact that I can make music that helps them recall happy memories, diverts their pain and discomfort, give compassion and hope to their day, if only for a few minutes, makes my job so rewarding.
I will say this a million times in my lifetime, "I wish I could be there 24/7 for all my Patients", as it is very difficult to walk away. But I also know my limits on my body and also my spirit. I have learned to take care of myself so that I can continue this work. Each day is filled with emotions that help me understand myself better and help me grow to find the important things in my life and not loose sight of my many blessings.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Small Bits of Joy
Tuesday morning, March 11, 204….a little tease from Mother Nature today….near 70o, I'll take it and not complain about the rest of the week that will be rainy and cold :)
Last Thursday as I went about my day and patient list, I was thinking about how special the patients are and how much they add to my life. I normally start with individual patients and work my way to the Unit Desks late in the afternoon. It seems that the "sundown syndrome" starts around 4pm and the staff can really use Therapeutic Music as they gather the "hard to handle" patients at the desk…an easier way to keep an eye on them and keep them safe. But with that said, it's also a rowdy crowd.
My first patient was a man I have played for several times. I stood in his doorway to get a feel for the environment and he was sitting in a wheelchair, staring straight ahead, no TV, no Music. I was thinking to myself, "how long can one sit with no stimulation?" I knocked on the door and he was happy to have harp music. He loves all the old standards of the 40's and some classical so after I played I asked if he enjoyed it. He opened his eyes and said, "the music is like a key that winds up my emotions, it lets me live again." Mission accomplished
As I am headed down the hall I see there are several patients at the Unit Desk, more than usual for so early in the day. It was loud and hectic. I decided to set up there next and hopefully give the area a little peace…NOT One of the patients decided my name was Lucy and immediately told me to "shut up". I had a gentleman on either side of me and no one was talking. I continued to play, trying different tunes that I thought might strike a chord with Ms. Grouchy, but she continued to tell me "stop playing those strings or I will come over there and slap your head" She was asking how much Ice Cream she would need for the party…..so as I played she continued to ask about the Ice Cream and said, "you should have practiced that thing before the party, if you don't stop playing those strings I'm coming over there and wrap them around your head." Ok, by this time most of the Staff are trying to hold it in and so was I. I decided to play Happy Birthday and that was the ticket!!! You could hear a pin drop! The man on my right looked at me and said, "thank-you, she finally shut up". Can I tell you, how that 30 minutes stayed with me for the remainder of the day. Every time I thought about it I would just smile.
I played for a beautiful woman, probably in her late 80's in late stages of Alzheimer's . She was so gracious, offering me a chair when I entered the room. I told her I had my own stool and she was pretty impressed that I carried it with me. :) I notice her roommate, closest to the door was unresponsive and on oxygen. I knew this resident and I could tell she had taken a downward spiral. As I played for my patient, she waved her arms in the air to the music, barely having the strength to do so. At one point, it was so loud in the hallway I got up and quietly shut the door all but a couple inches. As I was walking back to my harp the UNRESPONSIVE patient starts screaming at the top of her lungs, "OPEN THE DOOR….OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW, DO YOU HEAR ME, OPEN THAT DOOR"….OK, I jumped 3 feet in the air, scared the life out of me. I opened the door. After I finished playing, my patient tried to hand me something but there was nothing in her hand. She thanked me for coming and asked her Husband to see me to the door. She apologized for not being able to see me out, as her neck hurt and she needed to rest. What a fine Lady she was.
As for the unresponsive roommate, her Daughter and Son-in-law came to the room as I was leaving and I have talked to them many times in the hallway and dining room. I told them I played for the roommate but she could still hear the music and how I had tried to shut the door. They both looked at each other and started laughing, the Daughter said, "DON'T SHUT THE DOOR." The three of us were outside in the hallway just laughing it up. Families go through so much and it's wonderful when you can make light of a very difficult and heartbreaking situation.
Yesterday I was playing piano in the Dining Room for my Companion and there was a man that wheeled himself close to the piano. I did not recognize him, nor did he speak or smile while I played. To be honest, I felt like I was not playing the tunes he loves, as I concentrate on my Companion's love of Beatles, Stones, Dylan and 50's love songs. (ok, I admit I love all these too) but when I was done, he said, "thank you for your music, you made my day a little brighter, and my afternoon zip by a little quicker, I appreciate that." Small bits of joy that I carry with me each day.
Last Thursday as I went about my day and patient list, I was thinking about how special the patients are and how much they add to my life. I normally start with individual patients and work my way to the Unit Desks late in the afternoon. It seems that the "sundown syndrome" starts around 4pm and the staff can really use Therapeutic Music as they gather the "hard to handle" patients at the desk…an easier way to keep an eye on them and keep them safe. But with that said, it's also a rowdy crowd.
My first patient was a man I have played for several times. I stood in his doorway to get a feel for the environment and he was sitting in a wheelchair, staring straight ahead, no TV, no Music. I was thinking to myself, "how long can one sit with no stimulation?" I knocked on the door and he was happy to have harp music. He loves all the old standards of the 40's and some classical so after I played I asked if he enjoyed it. He opened his eyes and said, "the music is like a key that winds up my emotions, it lets me live again." Mission accomplished
As I am headed down the hall I see there are several patients at the Unit Desk, more than usual for so early in the day. It was loud and hectic. I decided to set up there next and hopefully give the area a little peace…NOT One of the patients decided my name was Lucy and immediately told me to "shut up". I had a gentleman on either side of me and no one was talking. I continued to play, trying different tunes that I thought might strike a chord with Ms. Grouchy, but she continued to tell me "stop playing those strings or I will come over there and slap your head" She was asking how much Ice Cream she would need for the party…..so as I played she continued to ask about the Ice Cream and said, "you should have practiced that thing before the party, if you don't stop playing those strings I'm coming over there and wrap them around your head." Ok, by this time most of the Staff are trying to hold it in and so was I. I decided to play Happy Birthday and that was the ticket!!! You could hear a pin drop! The man on my right looked at me and said, "thank-you, she finally shut up". Can I tell you, how that 30 minutes stayed with me for the remainder of the day. Every time I thought about it I would just smile.
I played for a beautiful woman, probably in her late 80's in late stages of Alzheimer's . She was so gracious, offering me a chair when I entered the room. I told her I had my own stool and she was pretty impressed that I carried it with me. :) I notice her roommate, closest to the door was unresponsive and on oxygen. I knew this resident and I could tell she had taken a downward spiral. As I played for my patient, she waved her arms in the air to the music, barely having the strength to do so. At one point, it was so loud in the hallway I got up and quietly shut the door all but a couple inches. As I was walking back to my harp the UNRESPONSIVE patient starts screaming at the top of her lungs, "OPEN THE DOOR….OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW, DO YOU HEAR ME, OPEN THAT DOOR"….OK, I jumped 3 feet in the air, scared the life out of me. I opened the door. After I finished playing, my patient tried to hand me something but there was nothing in her hand. She thanked me for coming and asked her Husband to see me to the door. She apologized for not being able to see me out, as her neck hurt and she needed to rest. What a fine Lady she was.
As for the unresponsive roommate, her Daughter and Son-in-law came to the room as I was leaving and I have talked to them many times in the hallway and dining room. I told them I played for the roommate but she could still hear the music and how I had tried to shut the door. They both looked at each other and started laughing, the Daughter said, "DON'T SHUT THE DOOR." The three of us were outside in the hallway just laughing it up. Families go through so much and it's wonderful when you can make light of a very difficult and heartbreaking situation.
Yesterday I was playing piano in the Dining Room for my Companion and there was a man that wheeled himself close to the piano. I did not recognize him, nor did he speak or smile while I played. To be honest, I felt like I was not playing the tunes he loves, as I concentrate on my Companion's love of Beatles, Stones, Dylan and 50's love songs. (ok, I admit I love all these too) but when I was done, he said, "thank you for your music, you made my day a little brighter, and my afternoon zip by a little quicker, I appreciate that." Small bits of joy that I carry with me each day.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
I AM RICH!!!
Thursday morning, February 27, 2014….Cold, just darn cold!!! But I hear Spring is coming soon, I'll believe it when I feel it :)
I wanted to jot down what a fantastic week this has been with my Companion. She has Posterior Cortical Atrophy, or PCA. I will post a link to a video clip of Actor Seth Rogen speaking before the Senate Committee on Alzheimer's Research…..effecting millions of Americans and RISING!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHqx3-mfHAY
Please take the time to watch this clip and do your own research on keeping your brain healthy and ways you can support those families who struggle with the Disease.
My Lady has had a slow recovery since her upper respiratory infection in December. Although her responses to Therapeutic Music are measurable, I felt like she was loosing ground. Over the last few weeks, I have seen a positive up-swing and I am so grateful for that. My Lady gets 3 consecutive days of Therapeutic Music every week…..
On Sunday, I set up in the Dayroom and there were a handful of patients there along with my Lady. The very First harp string I played, she let out a loud gasp. The Aide that was attending another patient turned around and said, "wow, did you hear that? I think she likes the Harp and look, she's smiling". I was just so thrilled that the Aide had been in the room and had witnessed this expression of pure joy from my Lady. I struggle every day I am there, to educate the Staff on the mental and emotional condition of my Companion. Although she is blind, can't communicate with conversation and needs complete care, she is much more alive than you can imagine. I know the busy staff struggles to complete the most basic care of the patients, but it would make such a difference if they would talk to her as they go about their care. Sadly, I fear it is the families that are left to find alternative intervention and stimulation for their loved ones.
On Monday, I was excited to play again for her. One again, I started in the Day Room, sharing my Therapeutic Music with the other patients and the Staff at the Unit Desk as well. After giving her my hello's…I played one of her favorites to start out, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"….not only was there another Aide in the room but another person who is there on a regular basis for her Companion and has seen my Companion for several months "around town" (that's what we call the Facility, our little town or village and the folks there just become your family :) My Lady immediately starts tapping not just one foot, but moving both feet! Did I mention she is paralyzed on her left side? Yep, that left foot starts moving too. Again, with total shock, both the Aide and the other worker both say, "look, she's moving her feet, she loves that music". Whooohooo…..yep, she is rocking' to the beat.
Tuesday was a real killer of a day. I couldn't wait to email the family at the end of the day to let them know what a fantastic day she had. I played my Harp in the Day Room for about an hour and then I took her to the Dining Room and played the piano for 2 hours. At first she dozed in her chair and smiled off and on while I played. I ordered these really easy "fake books" with simple written melodies so I can make the tunes as basic or as complex as I would like. As I was playing through one of the books I came upon "My Favorite Things" from Sound of Music. Ok, here is the exciting part….not only did she wake up, move her feet, raise her hand to her mouth (she has not raised her hand that high in months) but she started to sing!!! Yes, she was moving her mouth and making various sounds to the beat! That my friends, is a First. I wanted to cry. She was filled with so much joy that she HAD to express it.
I am so grateful for the work that I do. I am grateful to my husband for supporting me on this Journey….although this line of work is such a struggle for employment, I am about the richest person I know. What a gift Music is to the world.
I wanted to jot down what a fantastic week this has been with my Companion. She has Posterior Cortical Atrophy, or PCA. I will post a link to a video clip of Actor Seth Rogen speaking before the Senate Committee on Alzheimer's Research…..effecting millions of Americans and RISING!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHqx3-mfHAY
Please take the time to watch this clip and do your own research on keeping your brain healthy and ways you can support those families who struggle with the Disease.
My Lady has had a slow recovery since her upper respiratory infection in December. Although her responses to Therapeutic Music are measurable, I felt like she was loosing ground. Over the last few weeks, I have seen a positive up-swing and I am so grateful for that. My Lady gets 3 consecutive days of Therapeutic Music every week…..
On Sunday, I set up in the Dayroom and there were a handful of patients there along with my Lady. The very First harp string I played, she let out a loud gasp. The Aide that was attending another patient turned around and said, "wow, did you hear that? I think she likes the Harp and look, she's smiling". I was just so thrilled that the Aide had been in the room and had witnessed this expression of pure joy from my Lady. I struggle every day I am there, to educate the Staff on the mental and emotional condition of my Companion. Although she is blind, can't communicate with conversation and needs complete care, she is much more alive than you can imagine. I know the busy staff struggles to complete the most basic care of the patients, but it would make such a difference if they would talk to her as they go about their care. Sadly, I fear it is the families that are left to find alternative intervention and stimulation for their loved ones.
On Monday, I was excited to play again for her. One again, I started in the Day Room, sharing my Therapeutic Music with the other patients and the Staff at the Unit Desk as well. After giving her my hello's…I played one of her favorites to start out, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"….not only was there another Aide in the room but another person who is there on a regular basis for her Companion and has seen my Companion for several months "around town" (that's what we call the Facility, our little town or village and the folks there just become your family :) My Lady immediately starts tapping not just one foot, but moving both feet! Did I mention she is paralyzed on her left side? Yep, that left foot starts moving too. Again, with total shock, both the Aide and the other worker both say, "look, she's moving her feet, she loves that music". Whooohooo…..yep, she is rocking' to the beat.
Tuesday was a real killer of a day. I couldn't wait to email the family at the end of the day to let them know what a fantastic day she had. I played my Harp in the Day Room for about an hour and then I took her to the Dining Room and played the piano for 2 hours. At first she dozed in her chair and smiled off and on while I played. I ordered these really easy "fake books" with simple written melodies so I can make the tunes as basic or as complex as I would like. As I was playing through one of the books I came upon "My Favorite Things" from Sound of Music. Ok, here is the exciting part….not only did she wake up, move her feet, raise her hand to her mouth (she has not raised her hand that high in months) but she started to sing!!! Yes, she was moving her mouth and making various sounds to the beat! That my friends, is a First. I wanted to cry. She was filled with so much joy that she HAD to express it.
I am so grateful for the work that I do. I am grateful to my husband for supporting me on this Journey….although this line of work is such a struggle for employment, I am about the richest person I know. What a gift Music is to the world.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
2 People that Touched my Life Today
Wednesday, January 19th....on this beautiful, sunny late afternoon.....there is a hint of spring in the air....I'm not getting my hopes up, LOL
Our sweet 101 year old "Miss E" Resident passed peacefully this morning. What a beautiful Birthday Bash her family and the facility put on for her two weeks ago. I am so thankful that I took Video for the Family with my IPAD. Now they will have those memories.....when they are ready.
I was so grateful for the powerful effects of Therapeutic Harping today. As I entered the facility Miss E's Son was behind me and grabbed my elbow and led me to her room. I thought he wanted me to play for her, as she's been very weak this last few days. I had no idea she had passed away so it was a shock to enter the room. Her roommate has ALS and is very loud, cranky and uses LOTS of foul language. She is never happy to see me, but I play anyway and by the time I leave she is like a kitten. It worked again today. She was screaming for everyone to get out of the room, grabbing at the curtain and cursing like crazy. Ms. E's Son is grieving and getting more and more upset. My role quickly changed from a comforting friend to a Therapeutic Musician. I brought my Harp to her bedside and she cussed me out and told me she had a headache. I told her I would play quietly so she could relax......not only did she settle down right away but she was singing along with some of the tunes. This gave Ms E's Family a peaceful setting to say goodbye. When I was leaving the room the roommate cussed me out again for leaving so quickly.......when she was laying there with her eyes closed singing along I wanted to hug her tight.....she is someone's Daughter, someone's Mom....someone's Friend.
Within 30 minutes, in the same room, two people touched my life in extreme ways. I experienced such saddness for Ms. E's Family and such joy and compassion for Ms Cranky, that she was able to find peace and comfort in the music.
Our sweet 101 year old "Miss E" Resident passed peacefully this morning. What a beautiful Birthday Bash her family and the facility put on for her two weeks ago. I am so thankful that I took Video for the Family with my IPAD. Now they will have those memories.....when they are ready.
I was so grateful for the powerful effects of Therapeutic Harping today. As I entered the facility Miss E's Son was behind me and grabbed my elbow and led me to her room. I thought he wanted me to play for her, as she's been very weak this last few days. I had no idea she had passed away so it was a shock to enter the room. Her roommate has ALS and is very loud, cranky and uses LOTS of foul language. She is never happy to see me, but I play anyway and by the time I leave she is like a kitten. It worked again today. She was screaming for everyone to get out of the room, grabbing at the curtain and cursing like crazy. Ms. E's Son is grieving and getting more and more upset. My role quickly changed from a comforting friend to a Therapeutic Musician. I brought my Harp to her bedside and she cussed me out and told me she had a headache. I told her I would play quietly so she could relax......not only did she settle down right away but she was singing along with some of the tunes. This gave Ms E's Family a peaceful setting to say goodbye. When I was leaving the room the roommate cussed me out again for leaving so quickly.......when she was laying there with her eyes closed singing along I wanted to hug her tight.....she is someone's Daughter, someone's Mom....someone's Friend.
Within 30 minutes, in the same room, two people touched my life in extreme ways. I experienced such saddness for Ms. E's Family and such joy and compassion for Ms Cranky, that she was able to find peace and comfort in the music.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
What Keeps Me Motivated?
Thursday morning, February 13, 2014...huge snow storm overnight and now followed up with major icing....Mother Nature is awesome!
Last week I visited a Facility that I still do Volunteer Work at and the Director is so sweet, she emailed me and gave me the names of the 3 Patient's that had passed away in the last 2 weeks that I normally see. After news like that, I always go in with a heavy heart, almost dreading going into their rooms to still play for their roommates, but after the first smile from a Patient, my heart is lifted and I am so glad to be there.
Ms Dorothy is a handful! I found her out of her room bugging the heck out of a Nurse at the Unit Desk. I get so tickled with her, she always says NO to Therapeutic Music so I play outside her room in the hallway and when I am done she says over and over, "that was just so beautiful, just so pretty, when are you coming back?" I set up next to her door and after 5 minutes she was sitting quietly in the hallway. Every now and again she would demand something from a passing nurse but all in all she was peaceful. When I played "Moon River" she looked at me and said, "I danced". Those are the moments just reach your Soul.
The Staff is always so grateful to have music on the Units and they are awesome about letting me know who is depressed or not feeling well that day, so off I went to a new Patient's room who is ill. She let me turn down her TV (usually they won't!!!!!) I didn't want to chat with her, she looked too weak and sick, so I started off with Arpeggios in a Minor Key and eventually found my way back to Major and played "You are my Sunshine"....she opened her eyes and smiled. One of the Therapist walked past the room and said, "today is her Birthday!" Another big smile! I played and sang Happy Birthday to her and it just made her day.
I have been singing more and more while I play. Not all songs, and not for all patients, but every now and then there is a need for the words and I am learning to let go of my inhibitions and just letting it happen. I have always loved to sing, but not in front of people so this is just slowly evolving.
I eventually made my way to the room I was dreading....my wonderful Mr. Neil who sat up and ate his lunch when I played for him, passed away but his roommate Mr. Al was in his room and he too is failing fast. He was happy to see me and thrilled to have music and this is a man I sang for. He always tells me he fought in the war for my freedom so the first song is always "America" followed by the Hymns he loves. He slowly sat up and listened to the music and sang some of the Hymns with me. Perhaps I am just a dreamer, but he seemed more alive, happier and even told me he was hungry for lunch! As always, I leave knowing it might be the last time we have together and he always tells me he loves me, and I in turn, tell him I love him too.
Along with the sad news that my Banjo Patient passed away yesterday at another Facility, it is always followed with uplifting news and experiences....the 90yr old Pianist is going home today!!! (well, she might be snowed in for another day) but I was so thrilled for her and she said, "yes, I find this place depressing" I could barely hold the laughter in! So after I burn a Candle in remembrance of one who has passed, I have these glorious experiences that follow, day after day, that keep me motivated. I know Mr. R will be playing his Banjo, somewhere, somehow!
Last week I visited a Facility that I still do Volunteer Work at and the Director is so sweet, she emailed me and gave me the names of the 3 Patient's that had passed away in the last 2 weeks that I normally see. After news like that, I always go in with a heavy heart, almost dreading going into their rooms to still play for their roommates, but after the first smile from a Patient, my heart is lifted and I am so glad to be there.
Ms Dorothy is a handful! I found her out of her room bugging the heck out of a Nurse at the Unit Desk. I get so tickled with her, she always says NO to Therapeutic Music so I play outside her room in the hallway and when I am done she says over and over, "that was just so beautiful, just so pretty, when are you coming back?" I set up next to her door and after 5 minutes she was sitting quietly in the hallway. Every now and again she would demand something from a passing nurse but all in all she was peaceful. When I played "Moon River" she looked at me and said, "I danced". Those are the moments just reach your Soul.
The Staff is always so grateful to have music on the Units and they are awesome about letting me know who is depressed or not feeling well that day, so off I went to a new Patient's room who is ill. She let me turn down her TV (usually they won't!!!!!) I didn't want to chat with her, she looked too weak and sick, so I started off with Arpeggios in a Minor Key and eventually found my way back to Major and played "You are my Sunshine"....she opened her eyes and smiled. One of the Therapist walked past the room and said, "today is her Birthday!" Another big smile! I played and sang Happy Birthday to her and it just made her day.
I have been singing more and more while I play. Not all songs, and not for all patients, but every now and then there is a need for the words and I am learning to let go of my inhibitions and just letting it happen. I have always loved to sing, but not in front of people so this is just slowly evolving.
I eventually made my way to the room I was dreading....my wonderful Mr. Neil who sat up and ate his lunch when I played for him, passed away but his roommate Mr. Al was in his room and he too is failing fast. He was happy to see me and thrilled to have music and this is a man I sang for. He always tells me he fought in the war for my freedom so the first song is always "America" followed by the Hymns he loves. He slowly sat up and listened to the music and sang some of the Hymns with me. Perhaps I am just a dreamer, but he seemed more alive, happier and even told me he was hungry for lunch! As always, I leave knowing it might be the last time we have together and he always tells me he loves me, and I in turn, tell him I love him too.
Along with the sad news that my Banjo Patient passed away yesterday at another Facility, it is always followed with uplifting news and experiences....the 90yr old Pianist is going home today!!! (well, she might be snowed in for another day) but I was so thrilled for her and she said, "yes, I find this place depressing" I could barely hold the laughter in! So after I burn a Candle in remembrance of one who has passed, I have these glorious experiences that follow, day after day, that keep me motivated. I know Mr. R will be playing his Banjo, somewhere, somehow!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
I AM ALIVE INSIDE
Sunday, February 9, 2014...another cold morning with light sow this afternoon...gotta love the Winter of 2014!!!
I had an interesting week at 2 different facilities. My Companion is still coughing and it's so hard on her, it breaks my heart to watch her. I don't think she's ever gotten over the flu from Christmas time. But with that said, she still smiles and responds beautifully to music...all music! The facility celebrated a Resident's 101st Birthday! The party was held in the Dining Room and they had a pianist/singer that plays weekly doing all the favorites from 1913 and on....he did a lot of Beatles Love Songs which my Companion just loved. The best part of the Party was at the end, the Birthday Girl was sitting side-by-side with her friend, who is 106 years old!! The 106 yr old was patting her arm telling her Happy Birthday over and over like Sisters....it was a tear-jerker for me. F-a-m-i-l-y
At this same facility I had a new patient and the Director was very interested in how she would respond to Therapeutic Music. She does not react to anyone and does not communicate. When I first arrived in her room it quickly became bedlam. They were transferring another patient to her room and as distracting as it was for me, I played through it, with lots of questions from the new roommate about the name of my Instrument? For some reason many Residents think it's an Organ, lol.....I'm ok with that! So I am playing and the new roommate starts plucking the strings and singing! oh, did I mention I love my job? After things settled down and the new roommate left for a tour of her new Unit, I started again, introducing myself to the patient..no response. So I started playing just open chords, nothing that she would recognize. I segued into some traditional folk songs from the 40's and then into Jesus Loves Me....yep that was the one. Her eyes opened wide and she just looked at me.....but it was a response! I continued to play a combination of hymns and familiar tunes of the 30's and 40's. I was so pleased with the little bit of response I did get. For someone that is trapped in their bodies, making eye contact and keeping it is huge. Your eyes are the gateway to your Soul.
I moved on to a man that was not on my Patient List. I love working for this Facility because they encourage me to use my judgement. While roaming the halls I always see a patient that is in need of Therapeutic Music. It's impossible for the staff to keep me updated in the Units, as the turnaround is just crazy. Sometimes I will go to a patient that I had seen less than a week ago and they have either gone home, transferred to a different unit or sadly, passed away. I had been to this man's room a couple times before and he was just so sweet when I would come in he would smile, clap after a song and smile when I left, but with no communication. When I came in he gave me a weak smile and I started to play. A few minutes later his Daughter came in to visit and told me he was the youngest of 9 boys!! They all played the Banjo and growing up they would spend many nights sitting outside playing together. After she left I told him I was going to play Dueling Banjos.....I picked out the melody and he had the biggest grin on his face! He struggled with his words but told me "that was a long time ago that I played the banjo." I felt like he was embarrassed to talk to me because it took him so long to get the thought together and to get the words out. I let him take his time and did not try to finish his sentences, R-E-S-P-E-C-T
My next 2 ladies I see weekly and I love them. As soon as I come into the room they both are so happy to have music and patient A immediately puts her bed down and closes her eyes......she is ready to have mind-body-spirit healing. Patient B has just returned from the Hospital after her 3rd stroke. She can still communicate.....slowly and always asks for Hymns. They get so tickled when I put my Notice on their Door. The notice reads:
"On February _____, Ms. ?????? received 30 minutes of Therapeutic Music, thoughtfully and loving prepared by Therapeutic Harpist, Jacqueline Elgie"
Every patient gets one each time I finish a Session. When the new year started, I removed the ones from 2013 and I thought these 2 ladies were going to jump out of bed and get me, LOL I was going to throw them away but they both wanted theirs. Once I was sitting in the Dining Room with my Companion and I heard a couple walking past and the woman said, "I think this is the perfect place for him, they have Therapeutic Harp" and the man said, "how do you know" to which she answered, "I saw it on their doors". I was so happy to hear this because when I came up with this idea, it was to let the Staff, Family and Friends of the patient know their loved one had received Therapeutic Music. Some patients act as though I have given them a Certificate of Accomplishment......they want to read it and watch me tape it to their door, next to their name.......R-e-c-o-g-n-i-t-i-o-n
I like to play in the Day Rooms. You can sometimes reach as many as 6-8 patients at one time. I went to the Unit 2 Day Room but there was only one patient there and he may be my favorite.....he reminds me so much of my Daddy. He not only looks like my Dad, but he is a gentle man with a sense of humor and a he can whistle like an angel.....just like my Dad used to. So I played for him and he moves his hand back and forth like he is conducting an Orchestra. He smiles and tries to sing the words. Sometimes he will stop singing and moving and just close his eyes and listen. One time I was in the Day Room with him and my Companion and a string broke on my Harp. Like a good prepared Musician, I had left my replacement strings at home, DUH? I eventually just played around the borken string but decided to rest my fingers for a few minutes. I wondered how he would react to videos off Youtube so I found Pattie Page, Frank Sinatra and Doris Day.....he was just blown away at the videos. He touched the screen and smiled and sang along the best he could. It was quality time I spent with him. I left with so much more than I could ever give. C-o-m-p-a-s-s-i-o-n
Oh, this same man sat at my table at the 101st Birthday Party. I took his picture with my IPAD and showed it to him and he smiled, laughed out loud and stuffed his paper napkin into his mouth....yep, swallowed it right up!
I had an interesting week at 2 different facilities. My Companion is still coughing and it's so hard on her, it breaks my heart to watch her. I don't think she's ever gotten over the flu from Christmas time. But with that said, she still smiles and responds beautifully to music...all music! The facility celebrated a Resident's 101st Birthday! The party was held in the Dining Room and they had a pianist/singer that plays weekly doing all the favorites from 1913 and on....he did a lot of Beatles Love Songs which my Companion just loved. The best part of the Party was at the end, the Birthday Girl was sitting side-by-side with her friend, who is 106 years old!! The 106 yr old was patting her arm telling her Happy Birthday over and over like Sisters....it was a tear-jerker for me. F-a-m-i-l-y
At this same facility I had a new patient and the Director was very interested in how she would respond to Therapeutic Music. She does not react to anyone and does not communicate. When I first arrived in her room it quickly became bedlam. They were transferring another patient to her room and as distracting as it was for me, I played through it, with lots of questions from the new roommate about the name of my Instrument? For some reason many Residents think it's an Organ, lol.....I'm ok with that! So I am playing and the new roommate starts plucking the strings and singing! oh, did I mention I love my job? After things settled down and the new roommate left for a tour of her new Unit, I started again, introducing myself to the patient..no response. So I started playing just open chords, nothing that she would recognize. I segued into some traditional folk songs from the 40's and then into Jesus Loves Me....yep that was the one. Her eyes opened wide and she just looked at me.....but it was a response! I continued to play a combination of hymns and familiar tunes of the 30's and 40's. I was so pleased with the little bit of response I did get. For someone that is trapped in their bodies, making eye contact and keeping it is huge. Your eyes are the gateway to your Soul.
I moved on to a man that was not on my Patient List. I love working for this Facility because they encourage me to use my judgement. While roaming the halls I always see a patient that is in need of Therapeutic Music. It's impossible for the staff to keep me updated in the Units, as the turnaround is just crazy. Sometimes I will go to a patient that I had seen less than a week ago and they have either gone home, transferred to a different unit or sadly, passed away. I had been to this man's room a couple times before and he was just so sweet when I would come in he would smile, clap after a song and smile when I left, but with no communication. When I came in he gave me a weak smile and I started to play. A few minutes later his Daughter came in to visit and told me he was the youngest of 9 boys!! They all played the Banjo and growing up they would spend many nights sitting outside playing together. After she left I told him I was going to play Dueling Banjos.....I picked out the melody and he had the biggest grin on his face! He struggled with his words but told me "that was a long time ago that I played the banjo." I felt like he was embarrassed to talk to me because it took him so long to get the thought together and to get the words out. I let him take his time and did not try to finish his sentences, R-E-S-P-E-C-T
My next 2 ladies I see weekly and I love them. As soon as I come into the room they both are so happy to have music and patient A immediately puts her bed down and closes her eyes......she is ready to have mind-body-spirit healing. Patient B has just returned from the Hospital after her 3rd stroke. She can still communicate.....slowly and always asks for Hymns. They get so tickled when I put my Notice on their Door. The notice reads:
"On February _____, Ms. ?????? received 30 minutes of Therapeutic Music, thoughtfully and loving prepared by Therapeutic Harpist, Jacqueline Elgie"
Every patient gets one each time I finish a Session. When the new year started, I removed the ones from 2013 and I thought these 2 ladies were going to jump out of bed and get me, LOL I was going to throw them away but they both wanted theirs. Once I was sitting in the Dining Room with my Companion and I heard a couple walking past and the woman said, "I think this is the perfect place for him, they have Therapeutic Harp" and the man said, "how do you know" to which she answered, "I saw it on their doors". I was so happy to hear this because when I came up with this idea, it was to let the Staff, Family and Friends of the patient know their loved one had received Therapeutic Music. Some patients act as though I have given them a Certificate of Accomplishment......they want to read it and watch me tape it to their door, next to their name.......R-e-c-o-g-n-i-t-i-o-n
I like to play in the Day Rooms. You can sometimes reach as many as 6-8 patients at one time. I went to the Unit 2 Day Room but there was only one patient there and he may be my favorite.....he reminds me so much of my Daddy. He not only looks like my Dad, but he is a gentle man with a sense of humor and a he can whistle like an angel.....just like my Dad used to. So I played for him and he moves his hand back and forth like he is conducting an Orchestra. He smiles and tries to sing the words. Sometimes he will stop singing and moving and just close his eyes and listen. One time I was in the Day Room with him and my Companion and a string broke on my Harp. Like a good prepared Musician, I had left my replacement strings at home, DUH? I eventually just played around the borken string but decided to rest my fingers for a few minutes. I wondered how he would react to videos off Youtube so I found Pattie Page, Frank Sinatra and Doris Day.....he was just blown away at the videos. He touched the screen and smiled and sang along the best he could. It was quality time I spent with him. I left with so much more than I could ever give. C-o-m-p-a-s-s-i-o-n
Oh, this same man sat at my table at the 101st Birthday Party. I took his picture with my IPAD and showed it to him and he smiled, laughed out loud and stuffed his paper napkin into his mouth....yep, swallowed it right up!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
The Ultimate Payback
Thursday, February 6, 2014...it's gonna be a bright, bright, bright...sunshiny day! (Johnny Nash, "I Can see Clearly Now")
I've had a couple busy weeks. I've spent some time learning new tunes. Making familiar tunes "therapeutic" is sometimes way more work than just playing what's written. I've found if I take a tune and add some minor chords that are not written in the music, I always like the sound. Not only does it allow you to bridge back to the original key in unexpected places, but it keeps it interesting to listen to. I think this is one of the many things I love about my work. You are free to be as creative as you'd like, and yet the basic therapeutic elements are there....Keep it Simple, less is more.
When I was doing my Internship there were many times I would embellish the tune a bit, mostly out of habit and training on the piano. There was a lesson to learn and the patients are the ones that teach it to you. When a patient is not feeling well, when you have not left your bed in weeks, months and sometimes years, when there is a constant hum of activity, machinery, heating and the automatic inflation of the beds with monitors beeping, you realize what you are adding to this environment can be nothing short of tones of simplicity. It takes practice to enter a hallway...take in the sights and sounds....enter your patient's room and observe the environment and the patient.....formulate in your mind what your intentions are for this patient........take a moment to become peaceful with yourself and then start your Service. I have had more than one patient tell me they have a headache? Or, I'm not in the mood for anymore music. To stop and honestly evaluate what you kind of Service you have given this patient is a tough one. I often found it was not the patient, it was me.
I am happy that it happens less and less these days, as I gain experience and get to know myself and my abilities better. Therapeutic Music is not entertainment. The tunes can have harmony and good structure with dynamics and articulation, but in the cleanest and simplest form. I've come to love my collection of Therapeutic Tunes and enjoy adding new ones to the list. The proof is in the pudding, so to speak, when a patient smiles at the first tones of the harp and relaxes and sinks into their space with complete peace, joy and mind-body-spirit healing. This response is the ultimate payback.
I've had a couple busy weeks. I've spent some time learning new tunes. Making familiar tunes "therapeutic" is sometimes way more work than just playing what's written. I've found if I take a tune and add some minor chords that are not written in the music, I always like the sound. Not only does it allow you to bridge back to the original key in unexpected places, but it keeps it interesting to listen to. I think this is one of the many things I love about my work. You are free to be as creative as you'd like, and yet the basic therapeutic elements are there....Keep it Simple, less is more.
When I was doing my Internship there were many times I would embellish the tune a bit, mostly out of habit and training on the piano. There was a lesson to learn and the patients are the ones that teach it to you. When a patient is not feeling well, when you have not left your bed in weeks, months and sometimes years, when there is a constant hum of activity, machinery, heating and the automatic inflation of the beds with monitors beeping, you realize what you are adding to this environment can be nothing short of tones of simplicity. It takes practice to enter a hallway...take in the sights and sounds....enter your patient's room and observe the environment and the patient.....formulate in your mind what your intentions are for this patient........take a moment to become peaceful with yourself and then start your Service. I have had more than one patient tell me they have a headache? Or, I'm not in the mood for anymore music. To stop and honestly evaluate what you kind of Service you have given this patient is a tough one. I often found it was not the patient, it was me.
I am happy that it happens less and less these days, as I gain experience and get to know myself and my abilities better. Therapeutic Music is not entertainment. The tunes can have harmony and good structure with dynamics and articulation, but in the cleanest and simplest form. I've come to love my collection of Therapeutic Tunes and enjoy adding new ones to the list. The proof is in the pudding, so to speak, when a patient smiles at the first tones of the harp and relaxes and sinks into their space with complete peace, joy and mind-body-spirit healing. This response is the ultimate payback.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
I Love my Job
Wednesday Morning, January 29, 2014.....2 new inches of Snow!!!! I am off today so I can Celebrate
There are so many emotions that Therapeutic Music contributes to my day. I experience all the profound benefits of my Harp in many of the ways the Patient does. I am able to release my stress while working in most settings, however there are Patients that completely drain you. Those are the days you want to just crumple in a heap when you get home. But.........the best emotion I get to experience is Humor and Laughter!
Yesterday I was with my Companion and I played my Harp in the Day Room for her and 3 other Patients. The conversation that went on between 2 of them left me weak from laughing. I am completely drawn into the conversation by one of the Patients when she asks me to teach her to play the Piano. I asked some questions, like "have you always wanted to play?" "Do you read music?" ....this leads to the other Patient saying, "now you know you can't do PIE-ANO"...."you can't see, you can't move them hands and your brain ain't right".........ok so now I am totally dying.
I decided to take my Companion to the Dining Room to listen to the Yoga Class. When it was over I thought it would be nice to play my Harp there, which I never do. A few of the Yoga Students stayed to listen and a couple of the table had visitors and loved ones. There is always a "trouble maker" that roams the halls in every Facility I have been in. The one at this Facility is a real winner. She is in a Wheelchair but gets around A-OK. She likes to visit ALL the rooms in ALL the Units. She likes to help herself to stuffed animals and baby dolls from the rooms of others. oh, I forgot to mention, she is MEAN. The Staff does a great job of keeping an eye on her, but she manages to wreak havoc never the less.
Back to Harping in the Dining Room....I am playing and my Companion has this look of complete peace on her face and I hear, "TURN THAT DAMN ORGAN OFF". Yep, it's the Baby Doll Thief. I keep playing and she says, "CAN'T YOU SEE EVERYONE IS SLEEPING, I WANT PIANO". Now she has everyone's attention and I keep playing, trying so hard not to loose it. "THERE MUST BE A PLUG, TURN THE DAMN THING OFF." the end....the man at the card table lets out this belly-gut laugh which makes me loose control. Now I am trying to play through the tears and she rolls right up next to me and says, "LOOK YOU, EVEN SHE'S ASLEEP, UNPLUG THE DAMN ORGAN" After several deep breaths, I told her that I would play Piano for her when I was finished with the Harp.....which I did, but she was no where to be found.
Did I mention I LOVE my job?
There are so many emotions that Therapeutic Music contributes to my day. I experience all the profound benefits of my Harp in many of the ways the Patient does. I am able to release my stress while working in most settings, however there are Patients that completely drain you. Those are the days you want to just crumple in a heap when you get home. But.........the best emotion I get to experience is Humor and Laughter!
Yesterday I was with my Companion and I played my Harp in the Day Room for her and 3 other Patients. The conversation that went on between 2 of them left me weak from laughing. I am completely drawn into the conversation by one of the Patients when she asks me to teach her to play the Piano. I asked some questions, like "have you always wanted to play?" "Do you read music?" ....this leads to the other Patient saying, "now you know you can't do PIE-ANO"...."you can't see, you can't move them hands and your brain ain't right".........ok so now I am totally dying.
I decided to take my Companion to the Dining Room to listen to the Yoga Class. When it was over I thought it would be nice to play my Harp there, which I never do. A few of the Yoga Students stayed to listen and a couple of the table had visitors and loved ones. There is always a "trouble maker" that roams the halls in every Facility I have been in. The one at this Facility is a real winner. She is in a Wheelchair but gets around A-OK. She likes to visit ALL the rooms in ALL the Units. She likes to help herself to stuffed animals and baby dolls from the rooms of others. oh, I forgot to mention, she is MEAN. The Staff does a great job of keeping an eye on her, but she manages to wreak havoc never the less.
Back to Harping in the Dining Room....I am playing and my Companion has this look of complete peace on her face and I hear, "TURN THAT DAMN ORGAN OFF". Yep, it's the Baby Doll Thief. I keep playing and she says, "CAN'T YOU SEE EVERYONE IS SLEEPING, I WANT PIANO". Now she has everyone's attention and I keep playing, trying so hard not to loose it. "THERE MUST BE A PLUG, TURN THE DAMN THING OFF." the end....the man at the card table lets out this belly-gut laugh which makes me loose control. Now I am trying to play through the tears and she rolls right up next to me and says, "LOOK YOU, EVEN SHE'S ASLEEP, UNPLUG THE DAMN ORGAN" After several deep breaths, I told her that I would play Piano for her when I was finished with the Harp.....which I did, but she was no where to be found.
Did I mention I LOVE my job?
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
The Most Valuable Lesson
Wednesday Morning, January 22, 2014.....About 7" of Snow this morning.....7o and windy....a good day to stay home!
I felt it was important for me to put this in writing and come back to it from time to time. I know that I am a strong person and I am able to set aside my personal feelings while doing my work as a Therapeutic Musician. When I am sitting at bedside with a Patient, I am very aware of their pain, saddness and anxiety, but I am also equally aware of how much better Therapeutic Music makes them feel. Normally I will come home and decompress with my own form of Therapeutic Music....usually some good ole Rock N' Roll on Vinyl. I will warm up a Jukebox and start the healing process. However, this past Monday I don't think I gave myself enough TLC.
I came home from a long day at the Facility. I had gone in 1 1/2 hrs early. I played for a Hospice Patient for 1 hr and 15 min. She was very close to death and her entire family was in the room, including a Social Worker. At one point, I got up to leave and the Social Worker asked if I could stay a bit longer, as not only did she feel it was comforting to the Family, but comforting to her. I stayed as long as I could, playing non-rhythmic Improv. Every now and then I would throw in something familiar in a minor key, but play it non-rhythmic allowing openings in the music to match her breathing so she could leave this world peacefully. This Session was so appreciated by the entire family, as they explained that the Patient was a Musician herself and Music was her Soul.
After I finished with the Hospice Patient I moved on to my Companion for the Afternoon and had a joyous experience with the Residents in the Day Room. I played my Harp for them, then moved to the Piano in the Dining Room and played for my Companion. I love playing there because the Residents wander in and will sit and listen, it breaks up their day and gives them some joy. All in all, a good day.
I came home, started Dinner, answered mail and listened to some music....and then it hit me. It was like I had not slept in a week. I really don't remember when I have been so overcome with exhaustion. When Tad came home I couldn't even sit and eat dinner or talk to him....I apologized and went upstairs to bed. This is SO unlike me. I am like the Energizer Bunny.....go go till I drop. I slept straight through until 7:30 in the morning.
When I came downstairs I apologized again for just crashing and I had been thinking the same thing Tad had been thinking.....he said, "I am a little worried about your job, and the effect it's having on you." Wow, could that be true? Could I have been so stressed that day that it caused me to just collapse? I think the answer is YES. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to trauma. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to the physical challenges of playing the Harp for FAR too long at one time. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to Death, Sickness, Saddness, Hopelessness but also to Joy, Peace and Hope......
I have learned that I need to take better care of not only my Body but my Spirit as well. I need to realize and set physical limits to my Harp Sessions. If I choose to play for a long period of time, I need to take frequent breaks and stretch, drink water and regroup. I need to practice letting go of the saddness and trauma. I need to find new ways to rejoice in the joy and hope that Therapeutic Music offers.
As I come to the end of my Certification as a Clinical Musician, I apparently saved the most valuable lesson for last!!!!
I felt it was important for me to put this in writing and come back to it from time to time. I know that I am a strong person and I am able to set aside my personal feelings while doing my work as a Therapeutic Musician. When I am sitting at bedside with a Patient, I am very aware of their pain, saddness and anxiety, but I am also equally aware of how much better Therapeutic Music makes them feel. Normally I will come home and decompress with my own form of Therapeutic Music....usually some good ole Rock N' Roll on Vinyl. I will warm up a Jukebox and start the healing process. However, this past Monday I don't think I gave myself enough TLC.
I came home from a long day at the Facility. I had gone in 1 1/2 hrs early. I played for a Hospice Patient for 1 hr and 15 min. She was very close to death and her entire family was in the room, including a Social Worker. At one point, I got up to leave and the Social Worker asked if I could stay a bit longer, as not only did she feel it was comforting to the Family, but comforting to her. I stayed as long as I could, playing non-rhythmic Improv. Every now and then I would throw in something familiar in a minor key, but play it non-rhythmic allowing openings in the music to match her breathing so she could leave this world peacefully. This Session was so appreciated by the entire family, as they explained that the Patient was a Musician herself and Music was her Soul.
After I finished with the Hospice Patient I moved on to my Companion for the Afternoon and had a joyous experience with the Residents in the Day Room. I played my Harp for them, then moved to the Piano in the Dining Room and played for my Companion. I love playing there because the Residents wander in and will sit and listen, it breaks up their day and gives them some joy. All in all, a good day.
I came home, started Dinner, answered mail and listened to some music....and then it hit me. It was like I had not slept in a week. I really don't remember when I have been so overcome with exhaustion. When Tad came home I couldn't even sit and eat dinner or talk to him....I apologized and went upstairs to bed. This is SO unlike me. I am like the Energizer Bunny.....go go till I drop. I slept straight through until 7:30 in the morning.
When I came downstairs I apologized again for just crashing and I had been thinking the same thing Tad had been thinking.....he said, "I am a little worried about your job, and the effect it's having on you." Wow, could that be true? Could I have been so stressed that day that it caused me to just collapse? I think the answer is YES. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to trauma. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to the physical challenges of playing the Harp for FAR too long at one time. Yes, my Body-Mind-Spirit will react to Death, Sickness, Saddness, Hopelessness but also to Joy, Peace and Hope......
I have learned that I need to take better care of not only my Body but my Spirit as well. I need to realize and set physical limits to my Harp Sessions. If I choose to play for a long period of time, I need to take frequent breaks and stretch, drink water and regroup. I need to practice letting go of the saddness and trauma. I need to find new ways to rejoice in the joy and hope that Therapeutic Music offers.
As I come to the end of my Certification as a Clinical Musician, I apparently saved the most valuable lesson for last!!!!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Goodness over Disrespect
Friday Morning, January 17, 2014......a bright sunny, COLD day! I am so excited to be spending the entire weekend with "most" of my children and grandchildren!
The purpose of posting on my Blog is to remind me of my highs and lows in my Journey as a Therapeutic Harpist. It's so easy for my Facilities, Days, Patients and situations to run together over time. I think every patient and every situation has value and that all patients should be remembered long after they are gone. I have helped them with my Service of Therapeutic Music and in return they have helped me be a better, more compassionate human being. I also know that life is not always perfect or fair and I experienced this yesterday while playing for a dying patient.
This was to be the second and last time I played for this beautiful lady and her family. I stopped in on this Patient on Sunday while at the Facility with my Companion. I will call her "Tony". She was at end stage cancer and very much in pain. When I entered the room, one of the family members said, "Oh my God, I just said out loud, why is there no Music?"..."she is a Musician". I was so grateful to have the honor of playing for her. She loved it, not having much strength to respond or communicate, she just smiled a few times and closed her eyes.
Yesterday, 4 days later, as I was parking my car her Husband was in the parking lot leaving to pick up a family member at the airport and said to me, "can you go see her now? it might not be long and I am hurrying and she may be waiting for this loved one to get there". It broke my heart to see a man in such an emotional panic...do I leave my wife? will I get back in time?...Death has no clock.
So of course I am immediately tuned up and off to the room where I found their Daughter, in her late teens, sitting with her Mom, holding her hand and crying. As soon as I entered and saw the patient's breathing I knew it was only a matter of a few hours, if that. I was also aware of the roommate's TV BLARING and behind the curtain were loud voices laughing and talking. Ok, when I start playing for this Dying Woman, surely they will quiet down. NOT NOT NOT
I set up as close to "Tony's" head as possible and began to play softly...then louder because I could hardly hear my Harp over these women. Let me mention that the roommate is Ambulatory and CAN leave the room...my dying patient can not.
After a few minutes the Daughter is so upset over the noise she gets up and shuts the door to block the hallway noise but it did nothing to discourage these folks on the other side of the curtain. So, when the Nurses came in to turn my patient, they put pulled the curtain over me and I was then sitting with the roommate and her visitors....so as an advocate for my patient, I explained to them that my patient was dying and I was giving her and her family some peaceful music. The 3 of them just looked at me, one rolled her eyes and one said, "what do you want us to do?" So I asked that they speak softly and turn down the TV so the patient can hear the music. Reasonable, I thought.......nope, as soon as the curtain was pulled they started again.
As if it wasn't loud enough, a 4th person and then a 5th person came in to the room and now they are having a party, celebrating a birthday. As the noise level grew, the Daughter became more distraught so I suggested she go get a Nurse and ask them to quiet down or to leave and celebrate in another area...Dining Room, Day Room, Computer Room, Lobby????? The Nurse did just that and they said they would be a bit quieter but planned on continuing their Celebration.
I was there for 1 Hour...if anything, the noise level increased. I have never in my life seen such lack of compassion and respect. I think what bothered me more was the spitefulness. I did send the Activities Director an email last night, asking what policies the Facility has in place for this situation. She is wonderful and I know she will reply ASAP.
Now for the good news....when I entered the room I chatted for a minute with the Daughter, getting some background on the Patient's immediate condition. I asked if she was responding in any way and the Daughter told me when she is answering, she moves one side of her lip. So I spoke to "Tony" and told her I was going to play the Harp for her and her lip moved...she heard me and was thankful. As I played unfamiliar and non-rhythmic improve for her the Daughter asked if there was anything familiar that her Mom might know. Playing for the Dying is not just for the Dying....but for the family and staff around that person. As a Therapeutic Musician, our job is to provide music that is peaceful, restful and in the music, giving breaks in sound so the patient can pass. When you play familiar music, one tends to hang on to this world and no one wants to prolong their suffering. With that said, it is not just about the Patient so the first tune I play is "You Are my Sunshine". Halfway through the Daughter stands up and grabs a tissue and wipes one tear from her Mother's Eye. "Tony" sang this tune to her Children. As I finished up the Tune the Daughter asked that I play it a couple more times. Again, it's about the Family as well as the Patient.
I left the Daughter with a hug and the hopes that "Tony" would have a peaceful passing. I so wanted to stay with her for the day but I had a long list of patients to see that day, all deserving of Therapeutic Music. I went to "Tony's" bedside and told her I was leaving and I wanted her to listen to all the Harp Music that was in her head. I spoke the line from the song, "you make me happy, when skies are grey". She moved her lip.
UPDATE:
This morning I received an email from the Activities Director of the Facility who was outraged over this. Immediate action was taken and the Patient and her Family were moved to a Private Room to have a peaceful environment with what little time the Patient has left. I am so grateful for the swift and compassionate response from this Facility and especially the Activities Director.
The purpose of posting on my Blog is to remind me of my highs and lows in my Journey as a Therapeutic Harpist. It's so easy for my Facilities, Days, Patients and situations to run together over time. I think every patient and every situation has value and that all patients should be remembered long after they are gone. I have helped them with my Service of Therapeutic Music and in return they have helped me be a better, more compassionate human being. I also know that life is not always perfect or fair and I experienced this yesterday while playing for a dying patient.
This was to be the second and last time I played for this beautiful lady and her family. I stopped in on this Patient on Sunday while at the Facility with my Companion. I will call her "Tony". She was at end stage cancer and very much in pain. When I entered the room, one of the family members said, "Oh my God, I just said out loud, why is there no Music?"..."she is a Musician". I was so grateful to have the honor of playing for her. She loved it, not having much strength to respond or communicate, she just smiled a few times and closed her eyes.
Yesterday, 4 days later, as I was parking my car her Husband was in the parking lot leaving to pick up a family member at the airport and said to me, "can you go see her now? it might not be long and I am hurrying and she may be waiting for this loved one to get there". It broke my heart to see a man in such an emotional panic...do I leave my wife? will I get back in time?...Death has no clock.
So of course I am immediately tuned up and off to the room where I found their Daughter, in her late teens, sitting with her Mom, holding her hand and crying. As soon as I entered and saw the patient's breathing I knew it was only a matter of a few hours, if that. I was also aware of the roommate's TV BLARING and behind the curtain were loud voices laughing and talking. Ok, when I start playing for this Dying Woman, surely they will quiet down. NOT NOT NOT
I set up as close to "Tony's" head as possible and began to play softly...then louder because I could hardly hear my Harp over these women. Let me mention that the roommate is Ambulatory and CAN leave the room...my dying patient can not.
After a few minutes the Daughter is so upset over the noise she gets up and shuts the door to block the hallway noise but it did nothing to discourage these folks on the other side of the curtain. So, when the Nurses came in to turn my patient, they put pulled the curtain over me and I was then sitting with the roommate and her visitors....so as an advocate for my patient, I explained to them that my patient was dying and I was giving her and her family some peaceful music. The 3 of them just looked at me, one rolled her eyes and one said, "what do you want us to do?" So I asked that they speak softly and turn down the TV so the patient can hear the music. Reasonable, I thought.......nope, as soon as the curtain was pulled they started again.
As if it wasn't loud enough, a 4th person and then a 5th person came in to the room and now they are having a party, celebrating a birthday. As the noise level grew, the Daughter became more distraught so I suggested she go get a Nurse and ask them to quiet down or to leave and celebrate in another area...Dining Room, Day Room, Computer Room, Lobby????? The Nurse did just that and they said they would be a bit quieter but planned on continuing their Celebration.
I was there for 1 Hour...if anything, the noise level increased. I have never in my life seen such lack of compassion and respect. I think what bothered me more was the spitefulness. I did send the Activities Director an email last night, asking what policies the Facility has in place for this situation. She is wonderful and I know she will reply ASAP.
Now for the good news....when I entered the room I chatted for a minute with the Daughter, getting some background on the Patient's immediate condition. I asked if she was responding in any way and the Daughter told me when she is answering, she moves one side of her lip. So I spoke to "Tony" and told her I was going to play the Harp for her and her lip moved...she heard me and was thankful. As I played unfamiliar and non-rhythmic improve for her the Daughter asked if there was anything familiar that her Mom might know. Playing for the Dying is not just for the Dying....but for the family and staff around that person. As a Therapeutic Musician, our job is to provide music that is peaceful, restful and in the music, giving breaks in sound so the patient can pass. When you play familiar music, one tends to hang on to this world and no one wants to prolong their suffering. With that said, it is not just about the Patient so the first tune I play is "You Are my Sunshine". Halfway through the Daughter stands up and grabs a tissue and wipes one tear from her Mother's Eye. "Tony" sang this tune to her Children. As I finished up the Tune the Daughter asked that I play it a couple more times. Again, it's about the Family as well as the Patient.
I left the Daughter with a hug and the hopes that "Tony" would have a peaceful passing. I so wanted to stay with her for the day but I had a long list of patients to see that day, all deserving of Therapeutic Music. I went to "Tony's" bedside and told her I was leaving and I wanted her to listen to all the Harp Music that was in her head. I spoke the line from the song, "you make me happy, when skies are grey". She moved her lip.
UPDATE:
This morning I received an email from the Activities Director of the Facility who was outraged over this. Immediate action was taken and the Patient and her Family were moved to a Private Room to have a peaceful environment with what little time the Patient has left. I am so grateful for the swift and compassionate response from this Facility and especially the Activities Director.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Joyful, Joyful we Adore Thee !
Wednesday Evening, January 15, 2014....foggy, rainy and cold. Just about where it should be for mid-January!
Today, after a 3 week absence (due to the Flu...probably picked up from the Facility) I returned in a Volunteer Capacity to one of the Facilities I did my Internship Hours. It is Long-term Nursing. I am scheduled to be employed there when they move into their new Facility...first it was November...then December....January.....surely February....nope...found out today...at least March. Which means I keep myself in the minds and hearts of the Staff and Patients by Volunteering, or I throw in the towel and move on. Of course, I love my Patients there and the Staff is so loving and caring....they are all "getting it" when it comes to Therapeutic Music. I have educated them well and to have it validated and appreciated by them all...from the Kitchen to the PT Unit, the Admissions Director, the Office Staff, the Aids, Nurses and Staff....they have all been a part of my Journey. So you are probably asking why they don't just hire me. Well, the wheels of a large corporation turn slowly and frugally. They are given a Budget to work with..."per patient". When they move to the new, large facility the Budget will increase...hence I will be employed. I will continue to volunteer, appreciating what employment I currently have. It was wonderful to be there again today, but as in most days, it started out on a sad note.......
I got my updated list of Patients...and below the names are the Patients that have passed since my last visit. At the top of the list was Ms. S....in my previous posts I spoke of her and how she never responded to anyone in anyway....until I brought her the Harp. The Director and Staff stood in the doorway and cried at the amazing change in her as I played......but she has passed and I am so grateful to have given her that joy when she had no other. Saddness
I went to play for Ms D...cranky Ms D.....and she flat refused...normally I would sit outside her door and play but today she looked so sick and sad. She really did mean she didn't want anything...so I decided not to push it. One thing I have learned as a Therapeutic Musician is to be respectful, regardless of the level of function physically or mentally...everyone deserves respect.
I traveled on to visit one of my favorites Ms. L.....but she was not in her room....I have never seen her out of bed so I found a Nurse and she told me she was in the Dayroom.....wow, there she was sitting up in her wheelchair. Also in the room were 4 other Patients so I decided to just play there. The entire time I was playing the Gentleman sitting next to me was asking me for water. Pleading for water...please just a little drink of water....I know he can not have anything by mouth, as he has lost his ability to swallow and would choke to death. But it's so hard to ignore someone's plea for something so basic. I pushed through, smiling at the lady to my left that was so loving the music that she fell asleep smiling. Across from me was Ms L....moving around, looking in all directions the entire time. I think she loves the Music, but is unable to express it. Next to her is a beautiful lady who is quite crippled and has to look at you sideways, as she can't move her head. In spite of her physical disabilities, her smile makes her absolutely beautiful. When I finished I asked her if she enjoyed the Music and she tried to shake her head yes and a huge smile....I told her I would be back to play again for her and again....biggest smile. Heartwarming
I was excited to see my two favorite men....Mr. A and Mr. N. Mr. A always sings and asks if his Wife comes to see him and if she loves him. Mr. N had quit eating until I bribed him with Music. When I entered the room my heart sank. Mr. N was so frail and placed in Hospice Care. I wanted to hug him. As I was taking this all in I heard Mr. A ask if his Wife had been to see him. When I looked up my heart sank again....he also is placed in Hospice. I did manage to get Mr. N to open his eyes and smile when I called his name and told him I was going to play my harp for him. And Mr. A did sing a few tunes, half-heartedly, but the 2 sweet men that I so enjoyed seeing are slowly leaving this world and it truly brakes my heart. Inevitable
I have ways of coping with the deaths of Patients that I have grown to love. It's important that I have my little ceremony to let go of the grief that I feel when they pass. It comes with the job, regardless of the Facility. Yesterday at another Facility a sweet man I played for passed during the night. So you are often greeted with this unsettling news. I suppose I could get burned out quickly if I forget why I am there and what kind of an impact Therapeutic Music has on the Sick and Dying. When I think of the joy, peace, spiritual healing, relief from pain, memory recall and the complete healing environment that the Harp creates around them, I am pleased with my work. My favorite Tune to play is "Ode to Joy"...it always fits the situation. I am Dedicated
Today, after a 3 week absence (due to the Flu...probably picked up from the Facility) I returned in a Volunteer Capacity to one of the Facilities I did my Internship Hours. It is Long-term Nursing. I am scheduled to be employed there when they move into their new Facility...first it was November...then December....January.....surely February....nope...found out today...at least March. Which means I keep myself in the minds and hearts of the Staff and Patients by Volunteering, or I throw in the towel and move on. Of course, I love my Patients there and the Staff is so loving and caring....they are all "getting it" when it comes to Therapeutic Music. I have educated them well and to have it validated and appreciated by them all...from the Kitchen to the PT Unit, the Admissions Director, the Office Staff, the Aids, Nurses and Staff....they have all been a part of my Journey. So you are probably asking why they don't just hire me. Well, the wheels of a large corporation turn slowly and frugally. They are given a Budget to work with..."per patient". When they move to the new, large facility the Budget will increase...hence I will be employed. I will continue to volunteer, appreciating what employment I currently have. It was wonderful to be there again today, but as in most days, it started out on a sad note.......
I got my updated list of Patients...and below the names are the Patients that have passed since my last visit. At the top of the list was Ms. S....in my previous posts I spoke of her and how she never responded to anyone in anyway....until I brought her the Harp. The Director and Staff stood in the doorway and cried at the amazing change in her as I played......but she has passed and I am so grateful to have given her that joy when she had no other. Saddness
I went to play for Ms D...cranky Ms D.....and she flat refused...normally I would sit outside her door and play but today she looked so sick and sad. She really did mean she didn't want anything...so I decided not to push it. One thing I have learned as a Therapeutic Musician is to be respectful, regardless of the level of function physically or mentally...everyone deserves respect.
I traveled on to visit one of my favorites Ms. L.....but she was not in her room....I have never seen her out of bed so I found a Nurse and she told me she was in the Dayroom.....wow, there she was sitting up in her wheelchair. Also in the room were 4 other Patients so I decided to just play there. The entire time I was playing the Gentleman sitting next to me was asking me for water. Pleading for water...please just a little drink of water....I know he can not have anything by mouth, as he has lost his ability to swallow and would choke to death. But it's so hard to ignore someone's plea for something so basic. I pushed through, smiling at the lady to my left that was so loving the music that she fell asleep smiling. Across from me was Ms L....moving around, looking in all directions the entire time. I think she loves the Music, but is unable to express it. Next to her is a beautiful lady who is quite crippled and has to look at you sideways, as she can't move her head. In spite of her physical disabilities, her smile makes her absolutely beautiful. When I finished I asked her if she enjoyed the Music and she tried to shake her head yes and a huge smile....I told her I would be back to play again for her and again....biggest smile. Heartwarming
I was excited to see my two favorite men....Mr. A and Mr. N. Mr. A always sings and asks if his Wife comes to see him and if she loves him. Mr. N had quit eating until I bribed him with Music. When I entered the room my heart sank. Mr. N was so frail and placed in Hospice Care. I wanted to hug him. As I was taking this all in I heard Mr. A ask if his Wife had been to see him. When I looked up my heart sank again....he also is placed in Hospice. I did manage to get Mr. N to open his eyes and smile when I called his name and told him I was going to play my harp for him. And Mr. A did sing a few tunes, half-heartedly, but the 2 sweet men that I so enjoyed seeing are slowly leaving this world and it truly brakes my heart. Inevitable
I have ways of coping with the deaths of Patients that I have grown to love. It's important that I have my little ceremony to let go of the grief that I feel when they pass. It comes with the job, regardless of the Facility. Yesterday at another Facility a sweet man I played for passed during the night. So you are often greeted with this unsettling news. I suppose I could get burned out quickly if I forget why I am there and what kind of an impact Therapeutic Music has on the Sick and Dying. When I think of the joy, peace, spiritual healing, relief from pain, memory recall and the complete healing environment that the Harp creates around them, I am pleased with my work. My favorite Tune to play is "Ode to Joy"...it always fits the situation. I am Dedicated
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