Monday, Monday….can't trust that day. Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be…
whew…I am a little tired, mentally and emotionally but I am ok and I am so grateful that I walked into my Companion's Room, to find her roommate, Miss B, who I have just fallen in love with, transitioning to the next life! Yep, didn't expect that, thank you Monday Monday.
I was met at the front door of the facility by Ms. J, who lost her roommate the night before. That too was a shocker. Since I've been there Ms. J has lost 3 roommates and she just falls apart when it happens. My heart aches for her, naturally she becomes very attached to her roommates and it's just so hard when they pass. So I set my Harp inside and walked back out and sat with Ms. J, listening and hugging. Then I took my Harp to my Companion's room, only to find Ms. B in grave condition.
I had other duties today, but I knew my main focus would be for Ms. B, providing soothing music to help her with a peaceful passing.
The first thing I needed to do was to "wire up" Mrs. H, the screamer….and I mean screamer, 24/7 at the top of her lungs. I played Harp for her last Thursday and I could not hear my Harp….but as I sat there my heart just broke, knowing she is a prisoner of her mind, trapped in this hell. As I entered the Unit I could hear her…great, I am going to stick an IPOD on her and see what happens…and….I have permission to film her!!!! So I grab an Aide and off we go, only to find her peacefully sitting by the window, not making a sound! Figures….so the Aide talks to her, clearly trying to get her in the present and possibly a good candidate for the IPOD…nope…she sat and stared at both of us. I totally lost it and then the Aide started laughing and between us we were making so much noise laughing WE should have had an IPOD. So I filmed the Aide placing the IPOD on her head so she could just enjoy the music and the most amazing thing happened…..she immediately and quietly started making noises, like she was singing and then she closed her eyes. Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee. I am so grateful and blessed to have the support from staff, Ms. C in particular, who walks right beside me on these ideas and projects. We have a very broken system of housing our Elders in this Country, but with staff members that see the short-comings and work very hard to fill in the gaps.
So I was off and running…it was time for my Companion to enjoy Harp Music and at the same time, I am giving this music to Ms. B as she is passing. After a couple hours my fingers hurt and my mind was wayyyyyyyyyy too groggy. I took a break and walked my Companion outside in the fresh air and cleared my head and rested my fingers. When I came back in, it was time for my Companion to have a shower so off to Ms. B I went, more Harp.
I have to tell you, as a Therapeutic Harpist, I am trained to play Unfamiliar, non-rhythmic music for a transitioning patient. The idea behind that style is so the patient's body rhythms don't entrain themselves to the rhythm of the Harp, it allows their body to shut down naturally. As far as playing Un-familiar tunes, it also allows the patient to let go of the present life and the familiar tunes they knew and move on. So for the longest time, that's what I did, that is what I have been trained to do. Ms. B struggled so hard and I kept telling her to let go and move on to the beautiful life that lay in front of her. NOPE, she struggled so hard for so long….by this time, my Companion was back and in bed and I didn't want her to hear (she is blind) Ms. B struggle so hard. I changed my tactics, yep I was also trained to use my judgement and intuition. There were 5 tunes that Ms. B loved,
I played them for her each week and we used to chat about why the songs meant so much to her. "Somewhere over the Rainbow"…she loved that because when her Mother left her with her Grandparents to raise her, that is what her Grandmother used to sing to her to stop her from crying when she missed her Mom. "Moon River" because she never married but she was in love with a Man once and that was "their song". "Jesus Loves Me" and "Amazing Grace", 2 songs she taught as a Music Teacher, to her Class, that she thought were important to know.
The last one was a surprise, a few months ago I asked her what her favorite song was. As a Life-long Music Teacher I thought it was going to be something complex and operatic. She said, "well, my Grandfather that raised me always sang "Home on the Range", so I guess that is my favorite". It was during Home on the Range that she took her last breath. As I played these 5 songs, she became very peaceful and her breathing was quiet and gentle. I played Ode to Joy for her after she passed…..I looked over at my Companion that was in the next bed and she was grinning from ear to ear…..she was LOVING the tunes I was playing, totally unaware of Ms. B's passing…or was she? I will never know.
Now, I am having a COLD Guinness and lighting my candles for Ms. A and Ms. B…in honor of their lives and the joyous way music sent them on their journey.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Subtle yet Powerful
Tuesday, July 1st!!!!! Going to be a Summer Scorcher today, Yaaaayyyyy
Yesterday was my first day using my 2 Donated IPODS (thank you thank you) for my Project at work, Music and Memory. Yesterday was one of 2 days a week that I am with my Companion so first things first….find her and check her condition and needs. I have grown to love this lady so much and her wonderful family is one to model after. My Companion, has someone everyday to advocate for her….a necessity when placed in a Facility, I don't care how new/old/cheap/expensive the Facility is, you MUST be there for your loved one.
So after snatching my Companion from the Dining Room (lol) I took her to the Day Room to be with other Patients and wanted her to also be a part of this experience. There was a Elder gentleman (I use the term ELDER out of respect for his age and what he has offered this world so far) in the room that I was not familiar with. In the room was also a Nurse who was Charting and one 2 other Patients, both of them I know well.
I approached the Elder, Mr. A, and asked if he liked music? He said, "yes, music" so I asked if he'd like to listen to some music and he smiled and said, "yes I like music." So the first IPOD was set on General Vintage Music….tunes from the 30's, 40's and 50's. I might add, there was NO response from the Nurse, good or bad….I could have been invisible in that room. I did try to converse with him, during my time with these Patients, but the most I got back from him was a grin…VERY disappointing and unfortunately, the norm! Now big deal, so what, doesn't matter
So back to my IPOD….I put the Headphones on him and asked if he could hear it ok….(they are locked so the volume can't go too high) and he smiled and said yes….so I sat down and watched. He put his hand under his chin and just listened….sometimes he smiled, as he remembered the tunes…then he started wiping his eyes…so I got up and gave him a tissue. I removed the Headphones and asked if he was enjoying the music and he said, "yes, I love music" and I asked if he wanted to continue to listen and he said, "yes". So I put them back on. Now remember, the Nurse is sitting 2 feet away and could care less that this patient was joyful and remembering. As I sat across from him, I saw him remove one foot from the wheelchair and start tapping it on the floor….it was 35 minutes of pure love and joy for this man. When I removed the headphones I gave him a huge hug and told him that was enough for one day and would he like to have more music again, to which he said, "yes, I love having music".
While Mr. A was listening, so was my Companion, but she was listening to her CD Player and to a CD I had made her of Harp Music as a Christmas Gift. I had one more IPOD and Miss H. was sitting off by herself so I asked her if she would like to listen. I just love this lady, she is sooooo happy all the time. She doesn't start a conversation but if you take the time to stop and talk to her she will joyfully respond…so she said, "well yes, I'll have some music"….headphones on and her playlist was Gospel Music. OH MY….she came alive…..tapping her foot, tapping her hand on the arm of the wheelchair and humming to the music. Again…Nurse sitting 2 feet away, totally ignoring what was happening in this room. I sat for 45 minutes watching and taking notes…..this was CLEARLY a moving experience for all of these patients. I can only imagine what their lives would be like if they had this everyday.
For all the joy I saw, I was saddened by the lack of interaction from the Nurse. There was another male patient in the room that can get cranky and loud. He was asking to go to his room and finally they came and took him….but I wanted to try the IPODS on him so I mentioned to the Nurse that I could do that first and he looked up and said, "it's time for his meds". Meds, the first line of intervention….not conversation, compassion or music…meds first and then if there is anything left of this man after he is drugged up, I can have him. Let me finish up by saying there ARE loving and compassionate people who work at our Assisted Living and Long-Term Nursing Care Facilities that DO try to make a difference when they can, however these caring people usually have their hands tied behind their backs by Corporate Regulations and lack of much needed funding that trickles down DIRECTLY to the Patient, I suppose that is why I keep pushing. Ugggggggg I'm off to try again today.
Yesterday was my first day using my 2 Donated IPODS (thank you thank you) for my Project at work, Music and Memory. Yesterday was one of 2 days a week that I am with my Companion so first things first….find her and check her condition and needs. I have grown to love this lady so much and her wonderful family is one to model after. My Companion, has someone everyday to advocate for her….a necessity when placed in a Facility, I don't care how new/old/cheap/expensive the Facility is, you MUST be there for your loved one.
So after snatching my Companion from the Dining Room (lol) I took her to the Day Room to be with other Patients and wanted her to also be a part of this experience. There was a Elder gentleman (I use the term ELDER out of respect for his age and what he has offered this world so far) in the room that I was not familiar with. In the room was also a Nurse who was Charting and one 2 other Patients, both of them I know well.
I approached the Elder, Mr. A, and asked if he liked music? He said, "yes, music" so I asked if he'd like to listen to some music and he smiled and said, "yes I like music." So the first IPOD was set on General Vintage Music….tunes from the 30's, 40's and 50's. I might add, there was NO response from the Nurse, good or bad….I could have been invisible in that room. I did try to converse with him, during my time with these Patients, but the most I got back from him was a grin…VERY disappointing and unfortunately, the norm! Now big deal, so what, doesn't matter
So back to my IPOD….I put the Headphones on him and asked if he could hear it ok….(they are locked so the volume can't go too high) and he smiled and said yes….so I sat down and watched. He put his hand under his chin and just listened….sometimes he smiled, as he remembered the tunes…then he started wiping his eyes…so I got up and gave him a tissue. I removed the Headphones and asked if he was enjoying the music and he said, "yes, I love music" and I asked if he wanted to continue to listen and he said, "yes". So I put them back on. Now remember, the Nurse is sitting 2 feet away and could care less that this patient was joyful and remembering. As I sat across from him, I saw him remove one foot from the wheelchair and start tapping it on the floor….it was 35 minutes of pure love and joy for this man. When I removed the headphones I gave him a huge hug and told him that was enough for one day and would he like to have more music again, to which he said, "yes, I love having music".
While Mr. A was listening, so was my Companion, but she was listening to her CD Player and to a CD I had made her of Harp Music as a Christmas Gift. I had one more IPOD and Miss H. was sitting off by herself so I asked her if she would like to listen. I just love this lady, she is sooooo happy all the time. She doesn't start a conversation but if you take the time to stop and talk to her she will joyfully respond…so she said, "well yes, I'll have some music"….headphones on and her playlist was Gospel Music. OH MY….she came alive…..tapping her foot, tapping her hand on the arm of the wheelchair and humming to the music. Again…Nurse sitting 2 feet away, totally ignoring what was happening in this room. I sat for 45 minutes watching and taking notes…..this was CLEARLY a moving experience for all of these patients. I can only imagine what their lives would be like if they had this everyday.
For all the joy I saw, I was saddened by the lack of interaction from the Nurse. There was another male patient in the room that can get cranky and loud. He was asking to go to his room and finally they came and took him….but I wanted to try the IPODS on him so I mentioned to the Nurse that I could do that first and he looked up and said, "it's time for his meds". Meds, the first line of intervention….not conversation, compassion or music…meds first and then if there is anything left of this man after he is drugged up, I can have him. Let me finish up by saying there ARE loving and compassionate people who work at our Assisted Living and Long-Term Nursing Care Facilities that DO try to make a difference when they can, however these caring people usually have their hands tied behind their backs by Corporate Regulations and lack of much needed funding that trickles down DIRECTLY to the Patient, I suppose that is why I keep pushing. Ugggggggg I'm off to try again today.
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