Monday, Monday…..can't trust that day

Monday, Monday….can't trust that day.  Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be…

whew…I am a little tired, mentally and emotionally but I am ok and I am so grateful that I walked into my Companion's Room, to find her roommate, Miss B, who I have just fallen in love with, transitioning to the next life!  Yep, didn't expect that, thank you Monday Monday.

I was met at the front door of the facility by Ms. J, who lost her roommate the night before.  That too was a shocker.  Since I've been there Ms. J has lost 3 roommates and she just falls apart when it happens.  My heart aches for her, naturally she becomes very attached to her roommates and it's just so hard when they pass.  So I set my Harp inside and walked back out and sat with Ms. J, listening and hugging.  Then I took my Harp to my Companion's room, only to find Ms. B in grave condition.

I had other duties today, but I knew my main focus would be for Ms. B, providing soothing music to help her with a peaceful passing.

The first thing I needed to do was to "wire up" Mrs. H, the screamer….and I mean screamer, 24/7 at the top of her lungs.  I played Harp for her last Thursday and I could not hear my Harp….but as I sat there my heart just broke, knowing she is a prisoner of her mind, trapped in this hell.  As I entered the Unit I could hear her…great, I am going to stick an IPOD on her and see what happens…and….I have permission to film her!!!!  So I grab an Aide and off we go, only to find her peacefully sitting by the window, not making a sound!  Figures….so the Aide talks to her, clearly trying to get her in the present and possibly a good candidate for the IPOD…nope…she sat and stared at both of us.  I totally lost it and then the Aide started laughing and between us we were making so much noise laughing WE should have had an IPOD.  So I filmed the Aide placing the IPOD on her head so she could just enjoy the music and the most amazing thing happened…..she immediately and quietly started making noises, like she was singing and then she closed her eyes.  Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee.   I am so grateful and blessed to have the support from staff, Ms. C in particular, who walks right beside me on these ideas and projects.  We have a very broken system of housing our Elders in this Country, but with staff members that see the short-comings and work very hard to fill in the gaps.

So I was off and running…it was time for my Companion to enjoy Harp Music and at the same time, I am giving this music to Ms. B as she is passing.  After a couple hours my fingers hurt and my mind was  wayyyyyyyyyy too groggy.  I took a break and walked my Companion outside in the fresh air and cleared my head and rested my fingers.  When I came back in, it was time for my Companion to have a shower so off to Ms. B I went, more Harp.

I have to tell you, as a Therapeutic Harpist, I am trained to play Unfamiliar, non-rhythmic music for a transitioning patient.  The idea behind that style is so the patient's body rhythms don't entrain themselves to the rhythm of the Harp, it allows their body to shut down naturally.  As far as playing Un-familiar tunes, it also allows the patient to let go of the present life and the familiar tunes they knew and move on.   So for the longest time, that's what I did, that is what I have been trained to do.  Ms. B struggled so hard and I kept telling her to let go and move on to the beautiful life that lay in front of her.  NOPE, she struggled so hard for so long….by this time, my Companion was back and in bed and I didn't want her to hear (she is blind) Ms. B struggle so hard.  I changed my tactics, yep I was also trained to use my judgement and intuition.  There were 5 tunes that Ms. B loved,
I played them for her each week and we used to chat about why the songs meant so much to her.  "Somewhere over the Rainbow"…she loved that because when her Mother left her with her Grandparents to raise her, that is what her Grandmother used to sing to her to stop her from crying when she missed her Mom.  "Moon River" because she never married but she was in love with a Man once and that was "their song".  "Jesus Loves Me" and "Amazing Grace", 2 songs she taught as a Music Teacher,  to her Class, that she thought were important to know.

 The last one was a surprise, a few months ago I asked her what her favorite song was.  As a Life-long Music Teacher I thought it was going to be something complex and operatic.  She said, "well, my Grandfather that raised me always sang "Home on the Range", so I guess that is my favorite".  It was during Home on the Range that she took her last breath.  As I played these 5 songs, she became very peaceful and her breathing was quiet and gentle.  I played Ode to Joy for her after she passed…..I looked over at my Companion that was in the next bed and she was grinning from ear to ear…..she was LOVING the tunes I was playing, totally unaware of Ms. B's passing…or was she?  I will never know.

Now, I am having a COLD Guinness and lighting my candles for Ms. A and Ms. B…in honor of their lives and the joyous way music sent them on their journey.